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6 reasons she will not marry you

22 June 2015, 12:51 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - Women have reasons for avoiding some men, especially in marriage. Here are a few.

You are a liar

I do not think there is an adequate way of me expressing the way I dislike liars. Hate is a strong word but I think I can add it there too. I am not sure if it is because of the untrustworthiness or the dishonesty but the worst are usually the delusional ones. Not women alone can be delusional but men too. For me it is okay to dream but there is that person who just dreams unrealistically. You cannot make plans with a delusional person or a liar. You might end up buying houses you couldn’t actually afford in the first place or take your children in schools that you thought the both of you could afford. A lifestyle that is make believe because someone lied to you that is where they come from when they are not but are burning pockets to keep it up.

Of the many sins a man can commit against me, I just think lying is the worst because I am not proficient in digging. Digging in the garden is abhorrent and digging in a man’s business I have no time for. So when I find out you lied about one thing no matter how small you just become abhorrent to me because lying is pathological.

Cheating/ adultery is also lying, I would rather you even tell me about this new female that you suddenly find attractive, so that I can meet her and see what is so fascinating.

You do not keep your word

If you say you are going to do something, you should do it. Do not let out on something that you would want me to remind you or keep begging you to do. I would rather you even keep quiet, do it and surprise me with it. Once you tell a woman something, it sticks in her head and she will always be wondering when it is going to happen. Most women will keep asking, I will not, I just do not know how to parrot things back to you. I have three strikes for this one, hit the fourth one and I am still there; you should know I am there physically but making strategies to end the association.

You do not respect me

First of all, respect in a relationship begins even with the smallest things. When a man respects the simple things that are important to you, know that you have the right man. If he does not, do not brush it off and be disgruntled when it gets to the bigger issues. A friend of mine took me out for lunch and was narrating a predicament of another woman we know. A fellow colleague whom we all thought was prince charming had shown some interest in her and she was considering it.

One of the stories that stood out was when once he had asked her out for a date. He had a prior engagement for the evening so he told her he would go and would come back to pick her. He tells her to order wine at The Wine Shop while she waits for him. Five hours later, the guy is a no show and she was still waiting. It took a friend to drag her out and tell her to go home. The wine was on him, but she had to pay for it. This is why I tell ladies to always have money even if it is a date, if she did not it would have been a different scenario!

She calls it lack of commitment, I call it disrespect because later when they saw each other at work, no explanation and she swallowed it! But you know women and wanting a man, she is still considering the relationship even though that was not the first time.

You are a spendthrift

That is threatening my security and stability. Spending on frivolous things when you cannot afford it, rings bells with me. Does not matter if you are a bachelor and have no demands. What you are doing now will not stop later. You do not care now you will not care later when you have a family to think about. I have the disease, so I will need my husband not to have it because what it means is that I will have to work twice as hard and we all know you can never control a person or their bank account!

You are an addict

Spendthrift ways, alcohol, drugs, porn, and any other constant that interferes with your logical way of thinking. If you cannot control it, I will not lie that I will be able to help and stand by all that. In this I will admit there are stronger women than I am, I have a very short fuse.

You are a womanizer

If you read, you might have come across the saying, ‘marriage changes rakehells’. A rakehell can be categorized with a womanizer. A womanizer does not sprout different wings after marriage. To me that is a lie. If he is doing it now and you allow him to get away with it, you have given him a pass that he will use as long as you are together.

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