6 reasons I denied my friend a hook-up
15 April 2015, 15:06
Nairobi - A male friend of mine saw a picture of a female friend of mine and asked me to ‘hook’ them up. You would think that since they were both my friends and I had no interest in the man that I would be agreeable. No, I was not and I told him blatantly.
He is what most of us look for in a man. Dedicated, intelligent, has a sense of humor, super smart, financially stable and just everything any female would want. He is also not bad to look at. But there was no way, me and my single self was going to help a female friend of mine into a well-to-do probably the best relationship that she would have ever had. I told him the same thing with no censors. Let me tell you what I said word for word,’ I am not about to upgrade her life like that.’ I knew the spoiling she was in for and I was not going to be stupid and hand it to her in a platter.
One thing about us females is that for our friendship to maintain its purity, we do not bring men from either sides into it. Be it relatives, distant cousins, friends even the ones that you said hi to once. No men are allowed.
1. I knew for a fact that the minute this girl got into that picture, she was going to behave like any woman does. The man would have been banned from talking to me. The man also spoils me at times, so that was going to be thrown out of the window. I am not stupid to cut the hand that feeds me. My friendship with her would have slowly disintegrated and she basically would have just thrown me out of any circle they were both in. I have foresight, I see it coming and I put breaks on it. Men, when you ask a woman to set you up with one of her friends, a bunch of things go through our mind at that instance, for example what I have explained above among other things. We do not tell you. I tell you because I do not beat around the bush but we weigh the pros and cons for and against us.
2. I will ask myself, what part you play in my life. If you help me out when I am down, I know that that will no longer happen when she is in the picture. So I will kill that thought process of yours before it goes far.
3. I will look at both sides of friendship that I have with either of you and look at which will take a hit and which is most important to me. In this case, they both were. I knew that the man would maintain the friendship but the woman…that is another story. If she is those types that get easily jealous and insecure, I know that it will kill my relationship with her if she sees me and her man-that I introduced her to-talking and being cozy. We tend to misinterpret the merest gestures and look for things where there are none. The rational logical side of the brain does not function for the woman once she is in a relationship. She will forget that I am the one that introduced them in the first place. In this case, I was not going to let that train crash, I put it on brakes.
4. Also, our girlie outings will have taken a backseat. I have a friend I have not seen in two years because she is in a relationship. Women tend to lose their self-dependency when a man comes into the picture.
5.I also know that I would no longer see my male friend ever because my girl would have banned him.
6. Then the most deciding factor, my spoiling becoming her spoiling and then her coming to rub it in my face. This man knows how to treat a woman. You can imagine as a friend he carries out those ‘small’ gestures. Now imagine as the girlfriend what she could have gotten. I was not about to get angry at myself and face palming in future over my stupid move. I put that on breaks too.
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