5 ways to stop him using you for sex
28 August 2015, 18:16
Nairobi - I could not find a better word to describe the women who end
up in this category, so I just settled for sex material. The men in your life
never ever pop the question for you. You think it is all going so well, you
were doing everything right and you were oh so convinced that he was in the
same boat as you but he was not. It never even ends with him marrying someone
else; there are the ones that just cut you off in preference of being single as
they continue fishing in the sea. Are you so bad after all?
Don’t ever let the men that come into your life disrespect
Even once! It does not just lie in the physical but
emotionally and even with words. Do not allow it to happen. That is usually the
first step that men use to judge how you view yourself. If you do not have a
very high opinion of yourself and take whatever craps he feels like feeding
you, then what business do you have being his woman and the mother of his
children? It does not matter the number of excuses you make up to let him get
away with it; bad day at work, poor ROI, family drama. Whatever it is, he can
talk about it but not drag you through the mud with it.
For the above to happen and work, you will have to work on
your self esteem and confidence which a lot of women do not have when they get
Demand what you want
from the beginning
Tip toeing around people has never won anybody prizes. If
you walk on eggshells afraid of telling this man what you want, he will be
comfortable. He will also go out with who he wants because at the end of the
day, ‘you are not my girl. So?’ You would rather he tells you he does not want
you and you move on rather than wait and not be going anywhere. How can it be
so easy to ask for a raise at work but not ask for commitment from someone
having sex with you? Demand respect, demand fidelity, demand his support,
demand to go out on dates because that is what real relationships are about,
demand him to be there and demand his commitment. You cannot live off welfare,
he knows that!
You need to be able to
distinguish the things that matter to you from the things that do not
Is it family or the money? Is it status or simple pleasures?
Align yourself with a man that will enable you to see the bigger picture. You
will find union in that. On the other hand, settle for simple bags and shoes
and that is what you will get. Any man can afford that in my opinion and you
will be in looking out at the next one who can afford the next best thing.
There are many of those going around by the way. For you to be wife material,
you need someone who can fulfill you simultaneously while helping you head towards
the right direction. You cannot keep jumping here and there and maintaining the
sex-machine, materialistic pariah then crying because no one wants you. How will the kids eat if he dies?
You have nothing to
prove to the men that are in your life
They are the ones that should have something to prove. You
have got a job, a career, pay your own bills and you have a life. If you do not
have the aforementioned, then start working on it because then, that is when
you need to prove something and that already makes it hard to move you to wife
material status. No one wants a
hanger-on. It is cute to be dependent at first but it gets old real quick. All
women can be dependent but the extra woman is the one who is actually
independent. She does not need him.
Do not give free favors
I have talked about this enough times for you to understand
that it never gets you anywhere and if it does, it is with a man who already
knows he can never do better than you. He has also settled which means you have
also just screwed up by being with someone who will never satisfy you.
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