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5 ways to deal with your father - in- law

08 April 2016, 17:23 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - I am always talking about mothers-in-law; how to do this, how to do that and what not to do but we ever forget that a man has two parents. So as women, is it that we don’t think too much on the dads because they are drama free or we just don’t think they need that type of merit. Even so, because we are generation X, maybe there are a few things I should touch on because some ladies might just not know.

Respect yourself

Your dress your choice-I cannot tell you how to dress and surely no one should tell you as well. But what I will tell you is this, there is just so much respect that comes from knowing how to present yourself always and even if not always, to the right people. Just because his son does not tell you anything, it does not mean it is right.

Your father-in-law is rarely around you 24/7, so don’t let it get on your nerves that there is a certain way you should present yourself just for that one week, you are at your man’s shagz.

Don’t bend over on the jiko in a mini-skirt.

Don’t be in tights with your behind out blowing over the three tone thing his mum will make you use while you are there.

Don’t have your front equipment spill out of whatever thing you have squeezed yourself in.

If you are going visiting before you get the wife-material status, you better dress like you are advocate for the nuns. You can still look nice in a long skirt or a loose top.

Always do have a leso/ kikoi; just something to cover your legs for the duration. We know you are sexy but just don’t be sexy for that duration you are there-it will not harm your relationship with your man. He has already seen it but what will harm your relationship is when you cause embarrassing situations and moments every time you go with him back home.

And if you are just a girlfriend, that is the quickest way to be replaced.

Never get drunk

Fathers-in-law always fall in the cool category because if he is swilling something, he will invite you- for most of them. Doesn’t mean you have to accept it. Make an excuse and if it will look insulting because he has invited everyone then that is when you just take one glass. Not a whole bottle. Father-in-law will not say anything but I bet you he will always remember and that is when you get side looks.

That is when the mother-in-law is giving you a hard time because of your parenting; he will not step in to defend you because it is not her business. He will just remember that one time you took it down like a sailor and wonder if his grandchildren are being raised by an alcoholic.


You serve the father first then your husband

Okay, that is according to our customs. I don’t know about the rest of you but it makes more sense. The parents are the elders. So, not mother, then father or your husband then his parents because you want to show your nurturing skills. No.

It is a sign of respect, so the father, then the mother, then your husband. The children come last and if they are making a fuss, you have the help serve the kids or if you have a relative, they tend to them while you tend to this other side.

Watch what you say

Remember I said, that fathers-in-law have a non-aggressive way about them, it is normally false. They listen, watch and keep quiet and then they learn a lot about you. You would rather even keep quiet if you do not have something sensical to say. You don’t always have to fill the silence. Idle chatter makes you into a bird. You will start mouthing off and before you know it, spilling what you do not need to. A father does not want to hear you spill a son’s secrets. It does not give you a good impression because you will give the impression of no loyalty and it will transfer to the father.


- MyNews24

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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