5 ways to deal with your father - in- law
08 April 2016, 17:23
Nairobi - I am always talking about mothers-in-law; how to do this,
how to do that and what not to do but we ever forget that a man has two
parents. So as women, is it that we don’t think too much on the dads because
they are drama free or we just don’t think they need that type of merit. Even
so, because we are generation X, maybe there are a few things I should touch on
because some ladies might just not
Your dress your choice-I
cannot tell you how to dress and surely no one should tell you as well. But
what I will tell you is this, there is just so much respect that comes from
knowing how to present yourself always and even if not always, to the right
people. Just because his son does not tell you anything, it does not mean it is
Your father-in-law is rarely around you 24/7, so don’t let
it get on your nerves that there is a certain way you should present yourself
just for that one week, you are at your man’s shagz.
Don’t bend over on the jiko in a mini-skirt.
Don’t be in tights with your behind out blowing over the
three tone thing his mum will make you use while you are there.
Don’t have your front equipment spill out of whatever thing
you have squeezed yourself in.
If you are going visiting before you get the wife-material
status, you better dress like you are advocate for the nuns. You can still look
nice in a long skirt or a loose top.
Always do have a leso/ kikoi; just something to cover your legs
for the duration. We know you are sexy but just don’t be sexy for that duration
you are there-it will not harm your relationship with your man. He has already
seen it but what will harm your relationship is when you cause embarrassing
situations and moments every time you go with him back home.
And if you are just a girlfriend, that is the quickest way
to be replaced.
Never get drunk
Fathers-in-law always fall in the cool category because if
he is swilling something, he will invite you- for most of them. Doesn’t mean
you have to accept it. Make an excuse and if it will look insulting because he
has invited everyone then that is when you just take one glass. Not a whole
bottle. Father-in-law will not say anything but I bet you he will always
remember and that is when you get side looks.
That is when the mother-in-law is giving you a hard time
because of your parenting; he will not step in to defend you because it is not
her business. He will just remember that one time you took it down like a
sailor and wonder if his grandchildren are being raised by an alcoholic.
You serve the father
first then your husband
Okay, that is according to our customs. I don’t know about
the rest of you but it makes more sense. The parents are the elders. So, not
mother, then father or your husband then his parents because you want to show
your nurturing skills. No.
It is a sign of respect, so the father, then the mother,
then your husband. The children come last and if they are making a fuss, you
have the help serve the kids or if you have a relative, they tend to them while
you tend to this other side.
Watch what you say
Remember I said, that fathers-in-law have a non-aggressive
way about them, it is normally false. They listen, watch and keep quiet and
then they learn a lot about you. You would rather even keep quiet if you do not
have something sensical to say. You don’t always have to fill the silence. Idle
chatter makes you into a bird. You will start mouthing off and before you know
it, spilling what you do not need to. A father does not want to hear you spill
a son’s secrets. It does not give you a good impression because you will give
the impression of no loyalty and it will transfer to the father.
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