5 ways to avoid boyfriend thieves
20 April 2015, 13:17
Nairobi - It is said that man is the root of all evil, and when it comes to women they just might be the cause of at least 80% of our problems. When you do not have a man, you want one and when you finally get one and think that everything is sorted out, something else comes up.
Nothing kills a good friendship faster than when a female feels that her friend is going after her man. Even I am honest enough to admit that I do not trust these women around me. If it is good, they will go after it. Some will do it for keeps, some will do it to boost their self-esteem and others will do it just to try and prove a point to themselves and even you.
At times it is the man that gets the flak for the friend’s wrong doings, it is even worse when she is a longtime friend. He will get the blame for the aftermath.
I am also able to admit that I have a crowd of very beautiful women around me. I am not stupid though. I have already list down a couple of things that both I and them are meant to follow. Obviously they will not see the list but I will instigate its course when the time comes.
There is a time period which must elapse before he meets any of my very beautiful friends.
Let us be honest and agree that there are degrees of beauty. Even with that adage about beauty being in the eyes of the beholder, there are just some people who jump over that fence and are in the clear. No matter your opinion.
Before I introduce my man to any of my friends some time has to have elapsed, and by time, I do not mean a few dates but am thinking months. The more beautiful, the more time out you are getting.
The easiest way for a man to get snatched form you is when he has yet gotten the time to actually know you. His and her excuse will just be, ‘but you have only been on one date!’ You cannot fault that argument sideways.
Now after they meet…..
Distance should be maintained
There is a time I had gone to meet a friend of mine for lunch. I did not know one of her crushes was to join us. She received a phone call and I was asked to switch seats and come sit with her. Her brother was told to go sit on my seat. When the man came, he obviously could not sit next to me but her brother. Clever, ha! It did not hit me as to what she was doing, up until I got home. She was distancing her man from me from the onset. I could not be offended but just laugh.
She taught me something, boundaries should be maintained from the onset.
She must be able to pick her own tab
He is my boyfriend not OUR boyfriend. A friend hears that your man is taking you out and she wants to come along. Nothing wrong with that especially if it is just casual. Problem is when her wallet gets lost in the closet. Woe unto you if it’s that weekend M-pesa decides to be down. Others do not even beat around the bush, they are blatant about it.
The hardest conversation that a woman has to have with a fellow friend of hers is that which involves telling her that she has to pick her own tab if she tags along. There is no way I am making my man shop for you and me both. If it is a one-time treat, nothing wrong with that. When it is a habit, someone needs to be coached.
Not him but her, we are not trying to be co-wives.
Calling my man or texting him
Unless I am lying comatose in ICU. Have gotten into an accident. Or I am flying out and could not reach him so I asked. No other reason allows you to call and text my boyfriend to ask him about me.
We all know strategies that women employ. The conversation starts about me then soon enough it is about his day and your day then it becomes a thing.
If we had a fight, do not call him and pretend to ask him for advice on how you should handle the situation. We both know it is a ploy because you have known me longer than he has.
Giving my man your food to taste
This falls on that same line, when you tag along with us for dinner. Now, we all order different things to eat. I taste his, he tastes mine. You have no one to taste yours, so I also taste yours and you mine. Do not pick that fork and try to feed him. Courtesy is when you give ME the fork and ask me to offer him a taste. Not you holding it up for him.
Visiting him at his house
Just because I invited you the last time I was going does not mean that you now have a free pass to go there whenever you want. Or are alone, bored or want someone to talk to. Wait until I get back, we can talk to each other.
You only go to his house when I invite you and if you know am going, do not ask to come unless I offer it. It is awkward for me to tell you no.
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