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5 things to do when he loses his job

06 February 2015, 16:09 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - One of the things that can lead to a slow decline of what was once a good relationship is when one of the partners (mostly the man) is when he cannot hold a job for too long. Thusly, he cannot support himself, help the spouse/ partner and the family in general. After a while, sometimes not even too long, she starts becoming resentful because she feels he adds nothing to her life, she can do without him and find someone better. It is never a black and white situation; because at times, the grey areas usually come up and you realize that you cannot just break up with your partner because they keep having a bad time financially.


They are good to you in all other parts of your relationship except the financial support that is usually crucial. Family can also make it hard for you to accept a man and put up with him when he is down in the trenches. I for one know that my mother could not easily stomach the concept because she would feel that I need someone better as she did not spend all that money on school fees for me to support someone who is meant to be my support. She is old school like that.

Then there are those tales where you hear about the woman being the backbone for her man until he gets something better, then he also moves to someone he deems better. Honestly, that can give a woman pause because you will be constantly thinking of how you are shaping the man for another woman. Pause!

Let us assume that your Kenyan man is not there to take you for a ride and you can actually build something together. You can put up with him and not lose faith in his abilities. So here is how;

Be there for your partner in a constructive way...

Remember how, your mother wanted you to do something she would keep asking and asking and it at times got to you. It is not that you did not want to do it to please her but you wanted to do it in your own pace. Same applies, when you are constantly nagging someone about something you put them off. Be someone that can pull back and instead ask them how they would like you to help, it may be with their application or resume. Do not be scornful or judgmental because that is the last time you will hear them ask for help.

Encourage them to take a break...

Our job market is one of the least forgiving. Someone can tarmac for years and not have anything to show for it. Even the menial jobs have their owners. Do not be the one to tell them that they are not doing enough. Sometimes taking a break can help someone re-evaluate the strategies they have been using and come up with something better. It also helps them relax and come back focused.

Do not bruise the ego...

Ego=Self=confidence in a man. If you mess that up it shows even when they step out of the door. When they go to an interview it will show, because in his head your words keep playing back to him and reminding him how he is not good enough. Be a motivator and not one of those cut-throat women that walk roughshod on those they deem beneath them.

Do not gossip...

As women we like talking, but that can ruin your chances of being your partner’s confidante. Taking your pillow talk and making it outside business is never good, it eventually circulates. No matter how you much you would like to think that your girlfriends’ can keep secrets.

Have patience...

It is hard on you too, and it will get harder as time goes by and nothing comes up. Have a support system that understands that and can relate not someone that will give you bad advice. Look for a Switzerland (someone neutral).

- MyNews24

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