5 things to consider before marriage
17 September 2015, 14:48
Nairobi - What should you know before getting married?
Relationships are a façade wait until you marry them
It is common knowledge that people do undergo a dramatic
change after getting a formal commitment. Who will not be scared by that? You
have been in a relationship with someone and you are still not yet sure if you
have seen all their true colors. That concerns you, it concerns us, and it
concerns anyone who is being pressured to tie the knot. At the back of your
mind you tell you yourself, this is it, now I am about to find them out. First
argument and the first line is, ‘why haven’t I or did I never know about this
side of you?’
Partners stop being ‘fun’ and become strict controlling task
Which is true; the happier couple always maintains their
relationship and what kept them together. The ones who become miserable are the
ones who go in with such lines; ‘shouldn’t you be behaving like a husband
should? I thought you would change!’ ‘Start acting like a married woman, I
don’t think this friend is good for you!’ ‘Married women do not go with their
husbands out; they stay at home and take care of the children!’ The lines are
so many and I am not yet even married. Tells you why I am afraid of commitment.
Now with such exemplary performances why would I want to run into that?
Children take over everything
It is good to Nerea but I know children are not 6 months
work, 1 years work but 18 years work. They are a joy but you will want your
child to be okay. It is no longer about you but them. Add in a partner, neglect
them and the marriage is already falling apart if you did not have a plan. Have
a plan! That is all I will say on that, be prepared –mentally and financially.
That is the only way you and your partner will manage your relationship
together and the family part as well.
Amazing sex goes out of the window
Pressures of work, pressures of running a growing household
and pressures of making sure it does not fall apart; it is like you are
constantly looking over your shoulder. Even planning an evening out with your
man or women becomes a process. Add in work late nights before you know it you
are going 6months with no sex. Soon enough one partner starts questioning where
the other is getting it from and insecurities set in. You now have to work hard
for something that came naturally to the both of you one time.
You are stuck with this person forever
When you look back at your track record, it is not good. You
barely stayed longer than year. You still think this one is a miracle for
pushing 13months. Then they ask when you will be ready and you are not sure
because what happened with the others might happen with this one. All that
paperwork that will have to take place because of a band on a finger.
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