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5 things to avoid after a break-up

20 August 2015, 15:44 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - Break-ups are never cured by doing any of these 5 things.


Nothing feels better than knowing that you got your own back from someone who must have taken that from you. You even catch yourself smiling alone from the damage you must have done. Then what? Afterwards you will be back to square one. Still hurt and still having grudges. You will carry that resentment to every new situation that you get into because you need a place to channel your bitterness, anger, or disgust you may have felt against your ex.

Having sex with the ex

Sex never fixed anything. It will feel good ‘in the moment’ but afterwards you start regretting because you have just complicated matters. Now, either one of you is feeling positive about a non-existent situation. The other is feeling guilty because they know they should have never gone back there in the first place.

Get married

I felt I had to add this one because some people use marriage, sex or pregnancy to think that it will solve a situation that they previously had. It does not. You just creating the same situation but where the rules are different, make things complex and complicated for the both of you. Solve your issues, then think if maybe you are ready. Do the opposite and it becomes messy.

Having sex with a friend

They are convenient. They are just there. In the right place and at the right time with you. You get melancholic and that is when the devil whispers sweet nothings in your ear. Now you have just gone and created a new situation that you have to worry and think about. Unless they were on board with no strings attached and it actually helped you.

Asking them to take you back

Trust me, you do need that time away from each other. You broke up for a reason. You may be hurt and if you are asking them to take you back; you were never done with them and they called the shots. You will feel at a loss especially if you are used to them. Still; you need that time apart. To heal and not to get over the resentment that will play a part in making you bitter especially if they do agree that they also would like you back.

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