5 stupid reasons to get married
28 April 2015, 16:11
Nairobi - The latest trend in Kenyan marriages off late is majority of the young women accepting to be second wives. I know some, and they have no regrets over the relationship. What is not to like about this relationship? You have all the work already done fort you by the first wife and you can already see the results-potential or none withstanding? Makes for easy decision making for you as the second or third wife.
I told my mother about this trend just this morning and she gave, me a forbidding look. I like the way African parents still feel they have absolute control over you, your life and decisions no matter how old you think you are. 20, 30, 40, if you like be 50 but if they still are alive, they think they can still tell you what to do which you always do either way.
She told me not to make such a stupid decision and it might surprise you what she gave me as a solution if I ever fell into that situation. Her solution was, nobody should ever know about that marriage. In fact, I should just have children and no one should ever know who the father is. The first wife should never find out about me thusly no marriage rites for me. I looked at her like she had lost her mind but she said that is what will ever make sense if I have any wit and want to avoid a drama free life. That is old generation twisted logic for you. But it got me thinking about marriage and the different reasons that people decide to, just do it. Children, family and stability come into play but for our generation does not go into it for those reasons.
Yes, the independent woman exists but even she wants to jump into that pot of boiling water. Why? Because as much as we run away from commitment and want to live a hustle free lifestyle, we still want the same things our parents had when we grew up watching them.
Family to go back to after you have made all that money. I do not want to go to a lonely house, neither do a lot of people. You want someone or people to take those vacations with-someone you have not paid that is. You want people whom you know, if you are gone tomorrow they will still hold your torch, legacy or empire that you are working hard and toiling for. We all want that.
But at the same time, the reasons that get us into those situations do not make for something that is lasting, hence lack of proper foundation.
Nothing spells ‘Grown up’ better than marriage
Even if it was with some harpy. For a spell, you had family with you and maybe you now have children that you are working for. Before then though, you were just toiling to get money, investments, enough houses and cars. After that, you are just like everybody else, so you think to yourself, it is time. You get married and finally feel like you have accomplished life’s purpose for yourself. When you approach marriage with such an outlook, chances are it will not last because that is just a goal you have accomplished and soon enough you are looking for another goal that will put you a cut above the rest.
For most women, even all, marriage is security especially when they see a prime piece. That explains why a lot of the younglings are rushing towards marriage with the old folks. Security.
Once you get security then adultery may come in and you know the rest. It was not love, or care for the other person so you really do not care how they would feel about such betrayal.
I was talking to my friend the other day, it’s not that we are planning to get married. It was about her relationship woes. We talk and towards the end I made the comment, ‘you know what they say though, ‘do not take relationship advice from a single girl.’ She agreed, and that is when I knew as much as I was giving her my heartfelt opinion on her situation because she asked ME, she actually thought I wanted her to spoil her relationship so that we can be single together. Female logic is dumb and dumber in a series. It is not like I want to or will marry your man, so, that does not make sense. Why talk to me then.
My point is, a lot of females just get to that age where they are thinking, have a job, get a man, and get married. She is at the stage of get married. The man treats her like crap and sh** but she is willing to risk it because she does not want to be the single one when everyone else is married.
This type here is the worst reason to get married especially to man that does not even respect you.
Even I get afraid for mine. You sit there and realize all these clowns you have been ignoring one of them has to make the cut because you do not want to be single and childless to boot, so you take the plunge. Logic is, better the devil you know than that angel you have never even met.
Then there is logic
This is the noose that all marriages started out with.
You dated for years and if not, you dated for a few months, none of you is getting younger and there is no other better option in sight. So you both just decide that the other will do because, they are not that bad. No passion, as you have just fallen into a lackluster situationship that is not that bad. What the heck! Your marriage starts with monotony that no one is excited to go home to.
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