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5 signs she is not wife material

05 August 2015, 16:38 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - There’s a difference between a girlfriend that likes having fun and the one that lives in the club. There is a difference between a woman who is a lady and the one that practices being one part time. There is also that one that finds children distasteful and the one that can get along with them.

So which woman are you? The one who is only good enough for a date? The one who is good for a casual tumble or the one that a man cannot hold himself back from proposing to because she is the one you want to spend the rest of your life with?

You can be fun, beautiful and be the most amazing thing that crosses some man’s path but you find out he does not want you to be his wife. You are just that person he calls when he needs to have a good time on a weekend.

More male friends than female friends

How do I make this sound diplomatic as much as it may sound Neanderthal? A woman who spends all her time around men rather than women communicates that you have a problem with women. Why can’t you hold a relationship with any women? He most probably has a couple of female relations and friends, which means you will have a problem with them too. It is good that you get along so well with the opposite sex but no man wants to be introduced to the ‘crew’ that is a sausage fest.

A woman who is more out than in

If it is an occupation that is different. Men are watchful. Every weekend you meet at the club. Every evening you meet at that spot you like. Every day of the week you are just somewhere other than your own house. You have a ‘joint’. Sounds bad, but men like it when they have their local but when a woman has her own it rings off alarm bells for them. It is okay to be out and enjoy being out but what you do now is what you will do when he settles with you. Meaning even when you are together, you will still be going out rather than stay in with him.

Spendthrift and High maintenance

Even if it is your own money. Even if it is money he gives you. He wants to see how you spend it. Not an accounting but he looks at what you bought. Men do not have a problem with you spoiling yourself, buying make-up and the pair of shoes you like. It is the buying of that which you do not need and stash it away forgetting about it. Just because there was that extra money. Or going overboard. What that communicates is that he cannot leave you to your own devices when it comes to money he leaves for expenses and money that he leaves for his children.


I repeat, men are watchful. Have a maid. Call a cleaning service or whatever but make sure your surroundings are clean. You will joke about it when he comes to pick you up but that is a mental checklist that is kept on the back burner.  If you do not have a place. Let us just look at you. Your shoes, your jeans that you have worn the whole month, chipped nails and unkempt weave. If you look bad, your kids will look unkempt and that means his kids will also be unkempt.


I am not saying be Jaime Oliver, Gordon Ramsey or Betty Crocker. In fact you do not even have to be a good cook. At least have one meal on your fingertips even if it is boiling an egg. You will not always be able to order in or go out. It may be rainy or you may be in an unreachable place.

The effort in wanting to know is a plus.

Just like you weren’t shown how to ride his equipment is the same mentality you should have with cooking.

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