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5 signs of emotional cheating

24 November 2015, 18:19 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - What is emotional cheating? Does it exist?

You feel more comfortable telling them than you do telling your partner

They know more about what is bothering you, what you are thinking of doing and what matters than you do tell your partner. You separate yourself from the fact because you tell yourself that your partner would never understand. What you do not realize is that you are creating a deeper bond with them just from the little things you keep telling them.

The two of them in the room and you would rather be talking to the other person

Let us say a work event; you are asked to bring your spouse but you do not even want to because you like your ‘work husband’ or ‘work wife’ more. You are worried about hurting their feeling because you will not be able to spend time with them.

And if you bring your partner along you still look longingly at the other person because you would rather be talking to them and not your partner.

You make comparisons between the two

You are not aware of it but when the two of you are having a conversation, you keep thinking, ‘this is why I talk to him/ her more because they have understood. Unlike so and so who would have created a bigger situation out of it.’ You justify yourself by making it seem like you talk to them more because they understand you and what you are about.

Instead of ‘what will we do?’ you are thinking, ‘what would they have done or said?’

When you are making a decision, you keep going back to what they would have told you to do or what they would have said. It is no longer a two person equation but a three person decision because if possible you would go and ask them ‘what is the best action for the two of you; in the relationship to take?’

You cannot wait to tell them about your last spat

If you and your partner have an argument, you cannot wait to call them on the phone, send a text message or when you next see them for you to spill the beans. You like being consoled by them and talking to them because they ‘get you’ as no one else does.

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