5 relationship breakers
12 August 2015, 16:42
Nairobi - Boundaries and respect are sort of interchangeable when it
comes to relationships. The following are some of the things you might overlook
that can damage your relationships.
If you are married or dating someone you already knew was a
clown or not very honest then, I cannot tell you what to do because when you
are checking that phone you already know what you are going to find.
On the other hand, if your partner has never given you
reason to distrust them then do not go through their phone. They will find out
and it will not be a positive reaction when they do. They will now also not
trust you and without trust then your relationship is already not working.
Someone’s family is always a no-no especially if they never
invited you to comment. If they did not, have never or even looked like they
were asking what you think then they do not want your opinion. Family is very
sensitive. You might think that you are allowed but you are not because you do
not know the relationship or how they interact with their family. Not
respecting that boundary can cause tension for you in your relationship. Just
from a slight comment.
Someone’s work, Office
It is so embarrassing at times when you are having a meeting
and your partner ‘was in the neighborhood’ and they had to say hi. You saw them
in the morning and they have to say hi. Make them wait and it is a grievance.
So you are called out of the office, they make demands such as lunch and just
throw you off balance. Learn to respect someone’s work. It might be small to
you but they wake up every morning to go to it-it is important to them! It
might also be the only space you allow them. Checking up on them there is not
cool at all. Unless you are married to a joker, then hats off to you on the
more work you gave yourself.
If you have never been given reason to doubt your partner,
take your hand out of the cookie jar. You know what they say, ‘when you go
looking for something, you will find something!’ At times it is just better to
be ignorant because you find something, not that they are cheating but maybe a
mistake they are trying to solve. You know about it, now you have questions and
now you are stressed.
Private is private for a reason. You do not have to know
what your partner is doing 24/7. Look at it as having some mystery in your
Don’t trash anything. Don’t use a pen on their desk, spoil
it and just laugh it off because it is just a pen. It was their pen, not your
pen. Don’t break their stuff and be unapologetic because you are angry. It was
their money that they used to buy it. It may also be sentimental to them. If
you have to break something, choose some plate you can replace or a window that
you can afford to have remade. Just respect your partner’s property.
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