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5 reasons I cannot be a second wife

29 December 2015, 17:28 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - While browsing through a couple of news feeds I came across something and it was talking about how the courageous man with two wives is handling the holidays. He transports both families to their designated point of vacationing-separately; then books them into different hotels in different locations. So technically, this man is not even on vacation because to me this is going to work like work. You spend breakfast with this family, transport yourself to have lunch with the other family, have dinner with the other one and before the day is over you decide which wife you are spending the night with and if you had breakfast with her you have to wake up and have breakfast with the other one. So, you also have to have a day planner, how is this different from work, and men wonder why they age fast and die faster than the said wives.

Does not look like such a bright idea now, does it? But I don’t want to talk to the men because either way you are going to do what you want but the women, albeit the selfish women because there are those just saying, ‘I don’t mind!’ There is that women whom I can reach that is about to fall into the seductive hands of a twice married man. Let me explain how this is going to work.

Sharing is caring but let me explain how it is going to work on the holidays, anniversaries and valentines.

How many holidays are there in a year? Many; there is New Years, let’s skip Valentines because it works different. So New Year’s, then there’s Easter, then Labor Day and so on and so forth. You will not get all of them. It will be taking turns, like a rotation. Woe unto you if the year is ending and you are not getting Christmas-bazinga! You did not see that one coming. Worst part is if you wanted to go home with him or if he is taking one family home. You are just going to open the year without the man no matter how many times he promises he will be back. He will not.

Valentine’s day-One of you is always going to be the loser or feel like a mistress unless you all agree to sit on the same table. It is either one is treated the day before or after like a mistress or one gets lunch and the other dinner or one gets a trip and the other one a gift because how will he work around taking both of you for a trip? I hope you are starting to see the picture.

Never let any of your anniversaries coincide because only one will get worked out or he will decide to ignore both and avoid the drama.

Any important work events and only one can go unless you are both willing to stand by his side sharing in the introductions.

Unless you are willing to be introduced as the second or third wife, you might just have to forego being acknowledged to his colleagues. And I have never seen a man courageous enough to bring both but one. Another fact is the one who gets introduced first works like a letter head; she is the one he will always go with. He will not want to start explaining who the last person he introduced was. This here works like a dirty little secret and you are it.

One household is already hard enough to maintain, how about two?

Have you ever wondered why the next wives are usually self-sufficient and if not, the first wife is usually overzealous in her business? Because at the end of the day, maintaining 2+ households is expensive, very expensive! Unless he is shooting money out of his a**. If you are not looking to share your husband’s wealth with other households, avoid married men and if you are the first, let it be known you are not about to entertain such business. Be like the Tazmanian devil! (Remember that cartoon?)

Your children will have to meet

Women at times never think things through but consider this, your children. Yes, you want to keep them away from the witch but what if something happens and they will be the only family that is left to them? You will not live forever and there comes a time they will need support. You are alienating the kids to what purpose? Then what if your children have a graduation the same day? What will you do and you want him to be at your child’s? What makes you think she will not demand the same?

Why will I not want any part in this; because I am not about to start taking a day planner with me every time I am vacationing with my husband. Or if I want to spend the weekend with him four times in a row, I have to consult whether he will be with the other family. Marriage is about enjoying the little times that you have, now you have to stress about it; something else to be bothered about in your free time. Then the money issue; of course it is going to be a money issue. Other marriages are working1:1 and yours will be working 1:4 where you end up contributing more to your own household unlike if you did not have to share the man. Fact is the women who have already married to become 2nd or 3rd have reduced the ration for you, making it easier for you to have your own husband if you believe that stupid survey of one man to seven women. You should not be bothered.

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Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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