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5 reasons foreplay is a MUST

17 July 2015, 12:37 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi -  Foreplay is like having a car with a fully functional GPS. Makes your work simpler and you get to your destination a lot better. I have never been in such a car (except seeing it in a movie) but maybe I am getting into the wrong vehicles.

Most couples do not know how to ‘foreplay’. A clear indication is when you keep coming across articles talking about how to get someone in the mood in order to improve your sex life. It should never be on the ‘improvement’ column but it is just a given.

You get to learn your woman’s body

The reason most couples/partners/ ‘buddies’ that see each other once a week/ everybody who is having sex with people they are not meant to be having sex with have an unsatisfying sex life is because most of them never take the time to know their partner’s body.

The only way you can do that is through foreplay. Yes, it is a process and it takes longer but at least you will know what she does not like or she likes. Where her ‘it’ spots are and how to turn her on faster. The best part is, as soon as you get the knowledge, you will not have to work as hard next time.

You find out what SHE wants as you go along

I know you have all come across that read that tells you to ask her what she wants, but when do you ask? It is all in the timing. If it is during sex then you have already failed. Just picture all the times you have done it. You are already in and halfway you ask, ’what do you want?’ SMH! What do you expect her to tell you? You have already rushed the experience and she will tell you what I know she has told you countless times, ‘this is fine/ okay!’

Different scenario: foreplay builds arousal and that is when your woman will be more open to what you are thinking and she will tell you,’ take me-… from the back, on my back, bent over or standing up!’ I do not know but she will be more open and tell you. And you will like it.

She will be more into wanting to have sex as compared to you jumping on her

When you want a child to do chores you bribe them such that next time you want them to do it, they will be happy to do so as they are looking forward to the boon they get.

If what you have always been doing is jump on her, then that explains why after afew months it just gets old and she gets that ‘get over with it’ look. You have not made her anticipate the good feeling that comes from coitus with you. Foreplay is the bribe your woman needs to look forward to sex with you.

Women need arousal

Never forget that. In the early stages/ honey moon stages of your relationship, your woman is normally just turned on because of that strong attraction that is initially there that’s why when you say, ‘are you up for it?’ She is up or she initiates in the luckier cases.  Sex lives deteriorate after the honeymoon stage because you now have to work to get her there which you never used to. Which all the men ignore and badgering her on why she is no longer interested does not help your case.

I have a friend whose been married for a couple of years with two children. She is 26 and her husband knows that wine is the way to loosen her up and get her in the mood. Problem is she always gets pregnant. It works like an aphrodisiac and a fertility pill at the same time. I am not saying you get your women drunk; just that know what works to get her where you want her. In the mood for foreplay!

Women never want to be rushed unless they are the ones who say so.

Think of all the times you have wanted to do something with your woman or she has invited you to do something with her. A road trip, shopping, going to church or even taking the kids to school. Women never rush. They like pre-planning things and making them go at their motion. Slow.

If you rush her, that is not foreplay that will not end well. One minute you are kissing, then jumping to the nipple and before she knows it she is turned around with no idea what is happening. Women are defensive by the way, mess up first time and she will put up defenses. Such that next time, she will read through your intentions not be interested in what you are about and you are back to square one.

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