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5 mistakes women make with men

06 January 2016, 15:24 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - Women make mistakes in relationships. Here are the 5 most common.

If I ask him too many questions he will leave me and go for the other woman

Aha! That is how someone becomes a mistress or your wedding is stormed by the first wife that stays in the village. Or coming unannounced on some weekend to find another one there or not knowing he has children. Like the list is endless; not knowing they are jobless but still hustling. Women ruin themselves by not having the guts to ask questions. You choose to make assumptions then you cry you were lied to. It is not a lie if the conversation was never had in the first place. Men are not in such short supply, especially the good ones. You just overlook them because he does not earn enough, does not dress well enough, is too short, does not look as good as you would like when presenting him to friends, relatives or colleagues. Pretty is easy but it comes with baggage.

If I keep asking for things I will like I am so demanding

If you never ask the answer will always be no and in the case of relationships, if you never ask a man for anything he will always find someone else to give it to while you give him free passes. What is more of a turn off than looking demanding? Raising a baby on your own with no support because you do not know how to ask what is your due; or having to pay for your own dates and anniversaries because you don’t know how to ask. You might as well get yourself a cat because at least it does not go to work and get money you never see.

I can’t approach him that will make me look so aggressive

Be afraid to go after what you actually want in life and believe it or not you will always be settling because you are allowing someone else to make the decision of whom you can date other than you. You are allowing yourself only the option of those who have approached you rather than widening the circle a little bit and allowing for your choices as well. You are also afraid you might not be their type, too ugly, too short, too tall, too fat, too black or not as well put together as you would think they would like; but so what, you will never know the answer if you never asked.

I have to haggle over who pays on the first date

I have a friend who always makes an amusing picture for me when we go out. The man says he is paying but I will have to witness an argument both at dinner, the party and in the cab. She always haggles even though the man ends up paying, I am just sitting back because I know my state in life if someone wants to pay, I let them. The savings look better in my purse anyway. I understand feminism and everything but if someone offers there is nothing wrong with accepting. You will find the wrong kind of guy next time who will take it as his due and it will never stop throughout the relationship. It does not make you any less to allow a man to do what he needs to do.

I have to show him how amazing I would be as a wife

What you are showing is how amazing you are as a help who will never need any pampering and that is what that man will give you. Half the time men complain about a woman having high standards, the other half is spent appreciating that she will not bend over for him. So continue bending while your man sends another woman your manicure money so that she looks nice while he takes her out for drinks.

Self-worth and appreciation is what show men you are good enough to bring up his children with that kind of self-respect. This helper business is what will show him how easy he can walk all over you.

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Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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