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5 key parenting rules

01 October 2015, 15:24 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - Children are precious. They need your their parents to behave or else trouble.

The stress at home carries to their outside world

Meaning school; it interferes with their school work because they cannot concentrate as they keep thinking of what is going on at home. You can say that it is none of their business but you make it their business when they overhear quarrels or have to move around at night with one parent because the other one chased the other one out. You also make it their business when you use them as a communication medium. If you have to

If the parents are shutting doors at each other, the children learn to do the same

Meaning that they learn poor communications skills from the both of you; they will do the same with their peers, their teachers and with you. They will sulk and not talk about their problems or what is bothering them. They become easily confrontational over petty issues.

They do not play well with others

They do not know how to play nice with others because that is what they have learnt or are learning at home. They see that if something is not done their way, they can throw a tantrum or beat someone up. They see that if they want something that belongs to someone else, they can just take it because that is what you two are doing. Taking things for granted from each other.  Confrontational and abusive to others; they also cannot take correction and criticism from their peers to well.

The children grow up with very erect barriers

It is not easy for them to easily open up to other people and that may make them have bad relationships with their partners as well. They pick up from the bad experience that the both of you had and they become jaded. They choose not to believe that a marriage can actually be a good thing for anyone.

They will end up blaming you

No matter how you look at it, you have ruined a part of their child hood. You use them against your spouse, they are your messengers and they are constantly caught between the cross fire of having to separate the two of you if it gets violent. You ruined their childhood because they know of those other kids who did not have to deal with the same shit when they went back home. All they had to worry about was homework while they had to worry about the two of you.

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