5 dont's when angry with him
23 April 2015, 14:30
Nairobi - When as a couple you are fighting, or having an argument, you want to be the one that wins. Do not lie, you know I am right. All relationships have a mental scoreboard and you would like to think you have lesser zeros than your partner.
You will lie that you care deeply and what you want is for the other person to hear you out but the truth is you want to be the one that wins that argument. Some men do not have chill, they will go head to head with you. Some of them do not know how to keep quiet and let you bicker. That is why you usually hear those neighbors of yours.
But at times you need to check a few things first because you do not want to regret anything afterward.
If you are under the influence of alcohol, it is better to accept that zero on your scorecard
I know for a fact that alcohol can make you say or do things that you will regret the following day. My Achilles heel is usually Facebook. Yes, it is dumb but when I am fuzzy I go on a Facebook rampage. Or start conversations on WhatsApp that I will not remember in the morning.
Now, when you are under the influence of alcohol, reasoning never plays a part in what you say or do not say. Even do. You will say it because it has always been at the back of your mind, hurt the other person’s feelings or ego and regret it in the morning. That type of damage can rarely be fixed. Like a tear in the carpet, you will sew it but it will no longer be flawless, they will always remember.
Bringing in the other person’s family or friends
Can be to shame their bad behavior which you can link him to. Or it is to show the other person that they also agree with you.
Either way, you say things that make them look bad and in the end, the issue is no longer what you were fighting about but them.
Anger and resentment from a grudge or something you know but the other person does not know that you know.
Maybe you went through their phone and saw something you should not have (you should not do this). Now you know something private, chances are you misunderstood it, and now you are carrying this issue with you while they are smiling with no care in the world.
Ten when an argument comes up, it is petty but you are blowing up and they have no idea why. You do not tell them because you are not even sure of yourself but you are still angry.
Not saying what you really mean or want to say
Just because I have said you go soft does not mean that you sugar coat things that your partner will not be able to understand your grievance.
In the end, they are thinking that the issue is solved and done with but it is actually not resolved, you are unsatisfied and they keep doing it. Do not beat around the bush.
Making it personal
They failed in running a business, they do not know how to manage their money. They are not too clever or very good looking? Stay away from personalizing fights it creates resentment.
For the latest on national news, politics, sport, entertainment and more follow us on Twitter and like our Facebook page!
Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.