4 ways to manage long distance relationships
17 March 2015, 14:59
Nairobi - The job market is not one that gives you options as a
singular. You do not get the luxury of having a variety of choices; employers
are the buyers and you are the seller in most cases. This can be a bit tricky
for a lot of people who are in relationships or are married but you still have
to earn a living counties apart.
When a job is good and offers amazing benefits and caters to
all your needs, personally I will up and leave and so will most. It’s the rare
species that decide to stay together in the name of love and look for other
options. Long distance relationships are not for the faint hearted. If your
partner decides to deploy himself to Wajir or those gun totting areas, we
obviously know who is going to be visiting the other. In some cases, you are never
even sure if they are alive the following morning. It is not just harsh
circumstances that can make for an uncomfortable relationship but the little
things that normal couples (women) can take for granted.
If you are thinking of a long distance relationship, as a
woman then I think you should actually really think of it carefully. I am not
seeing a man being really bothered about seeing you after a month, half a year
or even after a whole year. But as woman I can already see where the problem may
set in especially when you are supposedly dating someone who is a couple of
miles away in another county. A few months down the line it starts hitting you
that you are technically not in a relationship. You do not get to enjoy what
your fellow workmates tell you about. No date nights, no random weekend
trips-everything has to be planned to a T, people in REAL long distance
relationships are made of much sterner stuff than you might actually think.
No sex, you actually have to be celibate while your partner
is away, no one-night mistakes allowed. Can you think of spending a whole
weekend after weekend alone at home and not being miserable, if not then this
is not a relationship you want to get with in the long term. Especially if you
are looking at getting married to that person because cheating and being in
between relationships is the worst thing you can do to a partner that may
actually be committed and faithful.
Another reason why most of them fail, lack of trust. Trusting your partner is actually where he is
saying he is, doing what he is and not engaging with someone that you may not
approve of. Some men get to move but start a new and different homestead where
they are. One in County A, another in county D and another in region C; you may
be put in the dark, just imagine the day that you find out because it actually
does happen-will you die? Do you think that you can actually trust your partner
not to be doing the same to you? Women have been known to do the same, but
their biggest ally is their approach-we go in short term and when it works much
better than the other we cut the other off. The men keep all of them until they
all come crashing down on their heads.
Long distance relationships are like a sacrifice meaning
that you have an absentee lover, absentee partner or
spouse, an absentee parent for your child and maybe an absentee friend or
business partner. Do you think you can actually handle it? Or are you just in
it until you get that which you think serves you best.
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