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4 ways to manage long distance relationships

17 March 2015, 14:59 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - The job market is not one that gives you options as a singular. You do not get the luxury of having a variety of choices; employers are the buyers and you are the seller in most cases. This can be a bit tricky for a lot of people who are in relationships or are married but you still have to earn a living counties apart.


When a job is good and offers amazing benefits and caters to all your needs, personally I will up and leave and so will most. It’s the rare species that decide to stay together in the name of love and look for other options. Long distance relationships are not for the faint hearted. If your partner decides to deploy himself to Wajir or those gun totting areas, we obviously know who is going to be visiting the other. In some cases, you are never even sure if they are alive the following morning. It is not just harsh circumstances that can make for an uncomfortable relationship but the little things that normal couples (women) can take for granted.

If you are thinking of a long distance relationship, as a woman then I think you should actually really think of it carefully. I am not seeing a man being really bothered about seeing you after a month, half a year or even after a whole year. But as woman I can already see where the problem may set in especially when you are supposedly dating someone who is a couple of miles away in another county. A few months down the line it starts hitting you that you are technically not in a relationship. You do not get to enjoy what your fellow workmates tell you about. No date nights, no random weekend trips-everything has to be planned to a T, people in REAL long distance relationships are made of much sterner stuff than you might actually think.

No sex, you actually have to be celibate while your partner is away, no one-night mistakes allowed. Can you think of spending a whole weekend after weekend alone at home and not being miserable, if not then this is not a relationship you want to get with in the long term. Especially if you are looking at getting married to that person because cheating and being in between relationships is the worst thing you can do to a partner that may actually be committed and faithful.

Another reason why most of them fail, lack of trust.  Trusting your partner is actually where he is saying he is, doing what he is and not engaging with someone that you may not approve of. Some men get to move but start a new and different homestead where they are. One in County A, another in county D and another in region C; you may be put in the dark, just imagine the day that you find out because it actually does happen-will you die? Do you think that you can actually trust your partner not to be doing the same to you? Women have been known to do the same, but their biggest ally is their approach-we go in short term and when it works much better than the other we cut the other off. The men keep all of them until they all come crashing down on their heads.

Long distance relationships are like a sacrifice meaning that you have an absentee lover, absentee partner or spouse, an absentee parent for your child and maybe an absentee friend or business partner. Do you think you can actually handle it? Or are you just in it until you get that which you think serves you best.

- MyNews24

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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