4 ways to make dating a success
01 November 2015, 16:47
Nairobi - Maybe it was a choice to stay single for a while or you were divorced, took time out but now you are ready. There is nothing wrong with being anxious or not knowing where to even begin. Here are a couple of steps that will help.
Do not rush yourself
Anxiety can cause you to make rush decisions because you are not aware of what to do. For example rushing into sex or jumping a couple of hoops in the things you tell your date or what you ask them. Just relax and play it by ear. Let them talk and feel them out for where they are with you. At times it is just about enjoying yourself and having a casual drink. They do not need to know your struggles or how life has messed you up. That comes after they have proven they are really interested in you.
You do not have to label anything
It is not necessarily a question of; ‘so what are we?’ It does not even have to be a date. If someone invites you for a drink, go as if you are going to meet a friend. If it is dinner, do not over think it. You will start getting worried about what to wear, what to say and by the time you meet them, you are so nervous, jumpy and probably sweaty. That will just ruin the mood.
Some things do not need to be known on the first date
They can ask why you are single and why you want to date again but they do not need to know about your terrible marriage, your horrible ex or what you are struggling with. Keep it casual, interesting and fun. What you like to do, what your hobbies are and funny escapades. Do not be cocky or try too hard.
You do not need to try too hard
Do not feel out of place. If they invited you out or you asked and they accepted; that is because they wanted to be there. So just be yourself and do not go out of your way to impress someone. You might destroy a good impression they already had of you.
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