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4 ways to make a man fall in love with you

21 April 2015, 14:34 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - Yesterday, I was having a very hilarious conversation with my girl on WhatsApp.

Let me look it up. She asked me if I like chest hair on a man. I answered yes because I do. Can’t be having the both of us having waxing appointments. Also am smooth, why the hell would I want a male version of me, I need something to remind me I am with a man. Hence, my support of chest hair. I asked why she was asking me silly questions out of the blue, she says she is compiling a list of what she wants from a man. I say, compile maybe I can get a few ideas from it.

At the end, she tells me that at this rate we are no longer choosing, we just take what comes. Wrong! I am not into settling.  I think she already had a man in sight but just did not know how to actually make him hers.

I have realized that I go about this love thing the wrong way. There is a reason that Steve Harvey said that we should think like men. I am taking a couple of pages from that book because that is what I am about.

I am not going to sit around weaving fairy tales of love and romance and a man that wakes me up with breakfast in bed. First of all that does not make sense, I like having my breakfast after I have brushed my teeth meaning I will disrupt the whole presentation. And if the sheets are white I will be too worried about spilling dark coffee on them hence spoiling the experience. Another thing, show me a Kenyan man that can make pancakes without falling into the pan himself and then you will have made me a believer.

How will I make the man I want fall in love with me and not make me a statistic in the skirts he chases you ask? Let me tell you. Think like him. But as you are thinking like him you are slowly reeling him in. It is not about playing games just identifying what I want and taking measures to ensure it is mine.


Create a new experience for him

It is not that men do not know what they want if you ask them, just that you ask them with poor choices.

You are trying too hard to make what already works for him, work some more. If he is doing that on his own down time, then why should he feel that it is a special experience when he is with you? There is nothing wrong with being into your own hobbies that do not match his. Once in a while it is good to take a man out of his comfort zone. You will not have to ask him to tag along next time. He will want to because he will associate that one time good feeling with you.

Do not over exercise it though, it should be like medicine, in doses.


Why are you rushing?

You check your list and a man qualifies for all of them. You have not even dated for a few months and you are already telling him how you should have children. The man does not even really know you, so why are you getting offended when he runs the other direction scared. You created a horror story for him all by yourself.

Let a man enjoy being around you for a second, a minute. Turn it into a habit that he has to have, like drugs (not that I have had any but you get the point). Be different because trust me, if he is that good he has options and if you are doing what all the rest are doing then that man will not want you.


Be into his interests

It might be sports, cars, camping, cooking-they all make you sleep, but try to actually ask him what it is about those things that make him tick.

There is more to learn to a man’s hobbies other than the simple things you can garner for yourself. They will enable you to enter his mind and actually know what he really is thinking even when you do not talk. If you approach everything in life without intuition that is the reason you keep losing. Sit down with him, maybe not on all weekends, but that one time he invites you, be in that moment with him and share that experience. It will make him want to do it more often with you.


Subtract relationship from your vocabulary

If all you do is say that you want to take it to the next level after the second date then that is the reason no one wants you. You are chasing the title rather than him. Nothing turns a man off faster than the idea you are not even with him for him but because you were just trying to create a certain situation.

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