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4 ways to handle arguments with a woman

23 September 2016, 16:15 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - How do you handle arguments with a woman? Here are some tips.

Rule No.1: Don’t argue back

If she is raising her voice, then you raise your voice, what do you think she will do? Calm down? No, she will raise her voice higher since you want to look like you have the loudest voice. Don’t take it there. It is much better to remain calm, let her say all the things she wants to say and wait for her to ask you what you think. She will ask you trust me because now she is wondering why you are not saying anything. Even if she is saying things that are not right or quite the point; you never argue with a woman. She will beat you every time. Why?

Women never get tired. But you will! Get tired that is. So you need to learn to be calm when your wife is going off on any issue.

You need to learn to pay attention

Fact is a woman will have 2 key issues that are stressing her but she will read out as if it is a ten paragraph story. In the boardroom your wife is a very sane person- no emotional attachments. At home, with her husband, not so quiet. She is going to be emotional! Hence the long stories and going on and on and on when in the office she can handle anything.

You need to know to pay attention to what she is saying and capture the issue that is bothering her. Otherwise if you give a wrong answer or solution because you got lost- another problem has just landed. This is when she will hit you with, ‘You never listen to me or pay attention.’ (Proceeds to storm off and brew a larger storm)

You were listening, just not paying enough attention.

Don’t use remarks that put her down

This includes; ‘So what is this about?’ It makes her look like she is always having issues. Makes for a bad start to an argument. ‘You are always…’ They are remarks that sound sane to you but to her, you are judging her and find her lacking in intelligence. This is why she starts the argument at a louder tone when she just approached you quietly. Just let your wife talk and don’t say anything until she is done. Prevent escalation.

 If people are around, it is not the time to be a clown

For example the kids or the help or a visiting relative. I doubt your wife will want an all-out confrontation in front of strangers. This is not the time to roll your eyes or make faces with the kids because, ‘Mom is trying to start something again…’ You are clearly undermining her. This is when she will walk off and proceed to give you silent treatment and a cold shoulder.



- MyNews24

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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