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4 ways to get the best man

28 August 2015, 18:16 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - Sounds text book but then is it wasn’t you would not have clicked twice on it because at the end, as a woman you still hope for your ‘Prince Charming’ or ‘Denzel-look alike’. In the real world, no wait, in Kenya; that is a very far-fetched dream and looks impossible. Here, women settle and it is not because they view themselves so small but at times you just look back at the wreckage you have left behind and what is standing before you looks like a much better improvement. You look at the clowns that your friends, relatives and colleagues are dealing with and you look at yours and you just give yourself a pat on the back and think, at least he is not like so and so. So you make it work.

No one goes out looking for alcoholics, criminals, abusive, twice-married and maybe divorced guys. But it happens!

I am not going to tell you he is in church praying for you to be there as well because truth is most of those men in church had a very thorough one-night session with someone they barely remember and are atoning for that sin at that moment.

It is hard work though. Looking for a good man on your own and as a single women but it works better than sitting at home praying he gets delivered.

You will have to stop going out as a pack

I like the way as women, we tell ourselves to get ready. We call all of our friends. Average of at least 3, decide to have dinner. All of us. Then proceed to dance. Together! Then leave in the wee hours-together. So what did you achieve? You wanted to find a man, but you ended up having a girls’ night out. That is okay and fun if that was your mission.

No man will approach you when you are herded together. First it is scary because it is intimidating. What it also communicates is that you are having a good time with your friends and have no time to be interrupted.

It is scary to go out alone, but try it. It is also easier when you get rejected because you do not have to worry what your friend will think.

Widen your pool of men

At times, the very best men are there, you know them but because of some silly association, you write them off. If he is a good man who cares for you, kill the friend zone. If he is a reliable and responsible man, kill the boss zone. If he is hardworking and ambitious, kill that colleague zone. Do not be the stupid woman who introduces her friends to the good guys, how sure are you they are looking for the same for you?  These friends are not loyal. Look out for yourself first then maybe them. The man is here, but you are going out there to bring him women because you are a good friend. Women! We are really our own worst enemy. Have you ever seen a man bring his friend over before he has tried anything with the woman? He passes her over after he has tried and it is because he is forced.

What man do you want?

Have an idea. Religious? Wealthy? Cultured? Social?

He will not find you at home. It is work; you will have to get off your couch and get out. Go to church and start singing hymns, if it is a religious person you want. Stay behind for the Bible study. Look at what category your man is, and look up the places they are found. Network and be social at events. Go to the coffee shop and approach someone. It does not need a pack, just you looking nice.

You have to look the part

It is okay to think that a man will love you for you but make-up and looking nice helps the love along. Look presentable, be courteous and have manners. No wealthy, cultured person will approach you if you are a slob with no etiquette and all over the place at the restaurant. They will curve you.

You attract what you are and how you behave. If you a light skirt, you will get the womanizer. If you lack in manners, it shows so do not frown when he starts picking his nose; you were picking your teeth. If you are rude to the waitress then do not be surprised the guy you met at the same place starts manhandling you. That is just the law of attraction at work.

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