4 ways to get the best man
28 August 2015, 18:16
Nairobi - Sounds text book but then is it wasn’t you would not have
clicked twice on it because at the end, as a woman you still hope for your
‘Prince Charming’ or ‘Denzel-look alike’. In the real world, no wait, in Kenya;
that is a very far-fetched dream and looks impossible. Here, women settle and
it is not because they view themselves so small but at times you just look back
at the wreckage you have left behind and what is standing before you looks like
a much better improvement. You look at the clowns that your friends, relatives
and colleagues are dealing with and you look at yours and you just give
yourself a pat on the back and think, at least he is not like so and so. So you
make it work.
No one goes out looking for alcoholics, criminals, abusive,
twice-married and maybe divorced guys. But it happens!
I am not going to tell you he is in church praying for you
to be there as well because truth is most of those men in church had a very
thorough one-night session with someone they barely remember and are atoning
for that sin at that moment.
It is hard work though. Looking for a good man on your own
and as a single women but it works better than sitting at home praying he gets
You will have to stop
going out as a pack
I like the way as women, we tell ourselves to get ready. We
call all of our friends. Average of at least 3, decide to have dinner. All of
us. Then proceed to dance. Together! Then leave in the wee hours-together. So
what did you achieve? You wanted to find a man, but you ended up having a
girls’ night out. That is okay and fun if that was your mission.
No man will approach you when you are herded together. First
it is scary because it is intimidating. What it also communicates is that you
are having a good time with your friends and have no time to be interrupted.
It is scary to go out alone, but try it. It is also easier
when you get rejected because you do not have to worry what your friend will
Widen your pool of
At times, the very best men are there, you know them but
because of some silly association, you write them off. If he is a good man who
cares for you, kill the friend zone. If he is a reliable and responsible man,
kill the boss zone. If he is hardworking and ambitious, kill that colleague zone.
Do not be the stupid woman who introduces her friends to the good guys, how
sure are you they are looking for the same for you? These friends are not loyal. Look out for
yourself first then maybe them. The man is here, but you are going out there to
bring him women because you are a good friend. Women! We are really our own
worst enemy. Have you ever seen a man bring his friend over before he has tried
anything with the woman? He passes her over after he has tried and it is
because he is forced.
What man do you want?
Have an idea. Religious? Wealthy? Cultured? Social?
He will not find you at home. It is work; you will have to
get off your couch and get out. Go to church and start singing hymns, if it is
a religious person you want. Stay behind for the Bible study. Look at what
category your man is, and look up the places they are found. Network and be
social at events. Go to the coffee shop and approach someone. It does not need
a pack, just you looking nice.
You have to look the
It is okay to think that a man will love you for you but
make-up and looking nice helps the love along. Look presentable, be courteous
and have manners. No wealthy, cultured person will approach you if you are a
slob with no etiquette and all over the place at the restaurant. They will
You attract what you are and how you behave. If you a light
skirt, you will get the womanizer. If you lack in manners, it shows so do not
frown when he starts picking his nose; you were picking your teeth. If you are
rude to the waitress then do not be surprised the guy you met at the same place
starts manhandling you. That is just the law of attraction at work.
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