4 traits that make a gentleman
13 January 2015, 14:53
Nairobi - So what makes someone a gentleman? I would not know because
most of the descriptions I have had are from something I have read, or have
been told, not yet seen though. I have not had my chair pulled out for me, I do
not know why but maybe it is because some of the restaurants I go to have
couches and it is quite tricky for the man to figure out how to pull that one
out. Yet I have gone on some dates with regular seats, even with the ex, and
no, no chairs were pulled out.
I sometimes catch myself opening the door while everybody
else went through including the men, so that technically makes me a gentle lady.
Complaints about Kenyan men by the women mostly feature them
being not gentleman enough. I do not think that these women are asking for much
like putting your coat down in a mud puddle or letting her walk all over you.
There is a difference in how you do your things that define you as a gentleman
and being unchivalrous.
For one thing, it is good to escort a woman home especially
if you know she lives in a tough neighborhood, Nairobi is full of those. It is
another thing to want to escort her home so that she can invite you in for a
late night so that you can tuck her in.
Opening doors and giving up a seat is not at your leisure...
Men pucker up when a beautiful woman passes them and they
climb over each other just to get her attention. Picture this situation, as you
are running to make it to the office, a woman walks by you, very beautiful, you
rush to open the door for her, she smiles and soon forgets about you as you run
after her to make an introduction letting the door close in your colleague’s
face just because she does not make the cut in your books. That is not being a
Same applies to
seats, sometimes you see an old lady standing yet a grown man is seated because
he can be less bothered about her.
Gentlemen are not self-entitled...
If you work hard, it is good to expect respect from everyone
else but also have gratitude for what you were able to get. Not all women will
bend over backwards for you, if they do then you are with the wrong women.
There is a yin and yang between cockiness and confidence.
Pride in a man dictates that he should never fall short of
what he portrays. Gentlemen do not need to lie, they are upfront and that is a
major grievance that most Kenyan women have with their men. They are always up
to something and very deceitful about it.
It is good that you
have made it, but no one will always roll out a red carpet for you and wave
flags in your honor. One who works hard, is not afraid to get his hands dirty
and maintain respect for all has something to admire in him.
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