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4 tips to dating the much 'older' person

11 December 2014, 19:23 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi -  Contrary to popular belief, not all people who date those older than them are after their money. Just like everybody who has a type, there are people whose type is that their partner is significantly older than them. And most will try to deny that fact by chasing after people who just leave them unsatisfied and just plain frustrated.

You will try to date partners who are completely incompatible to you so that you can just please those who are around you and not be a thorn on society’s hide by avoiding ‘talk’.

But either way people are always going to talk and being an adult, you have to realize that you can make your own decisions especially when it comes to relationships because in the end you are the one who is going to have to live with that person. It may turn out to be a bed of roses or a bush of thorns but at least yours.

When dating the older person, first things first, a couple of rules to follow.

Age should never be an issue

If you find that you are person that is constantly bothered by your partner’s age then you are on the wrong boat. Constantly talking about age and wondering who will think what turns out to be a bore and will obviously be a huge turn off for your partner.

If you cannot stomach sex with your older partner… you are still in a wrong boat

People who are in a relationship with someone would like to fancy that their partner finds them attractive. You cannot be in a relationship and choose to be interested only when it suits you. Sex is part of the bargain for most. If your partner is older they obviously chose you, the younger party with the expectation that you would welcome it.

Have your own life

Unlike the younger partners, older partners do tend to have more complicated schedules and would rarely have the time to meet you for the ten o’clock coffee, lunch at one and still make dinner as well as have a movie night.   Have something to do outside time with them, not just career wise but let a weekend not have to be planned for them but friends too.

Emotional Independence

If you are one who throws tantrums just because you do not get what you want then maybe you should not be there. The older partner is obviously someone who has reached a certain level of maturity with experience and age. If you come off as desperate, emotionally unstable and one who easily gets fits, then that is a major turn off. They would not spare time to try and sort you out but will just withdraw and cut off contact.

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