4 tips for the mother in law
03 May 2016, 22:06
Nairobi - Children born in the 90s are now in their twenties; that
means that most of their parents are more informed and educated as compared to
their grandparents and what not. Yes, not all of our grandparents had ever seen
their door to a school room so when they did some things we excused them
because we had to learn to understand. In Kenya, I do not know about other
countries but in Africa championing of education is still a struggle.
On that note, I will skip over to talk about this parents
that birthed the children from this era-you whom went to school. Right now you
are waiting for your child to surprise you with the news that they have found
someone. If they have not already gotten knocked thus in a compromising situation
or they are not the new age type that proclaims they will never get married and
want no part in procreation. You are waiting for your child to bring you their
other half. Now since you went to school, you know there are some things we are
not going to get so deep into because we are going to assume you have enough
sense to know right from wrong.
We are hoping that you will act better than your own parent
because you have been part of the new age and understand that some things are
just quite not to be done.
When your son marries, accept that you are no longer his first priority
The fact that your son has married does not mean he will
forget that he has a mother. Just like you wanted your husband to support you
and be on your side, allow your son to do the same for his wife. Ever heard of,
‘Happy wife, happy life’? Do not create drama in your son’s life and I know you
are educated enough to know the kind of drama I am talking about.
Let him build his home and family. It will always come back
to you, no matter what. He was out here dating, did he forget about you?
Wouldn’t you rather have a daughter in law that looks forward to inviting you
to her home rather than the one looking for ways to avoid ever having you
around? Someone who will want to spend time with you when the kids are at school rather than leave you to the maid
for her to sought you out for the day.
Make the effort to like and work with your daughter-in-law if she has
not shown you ill will
You might be but respect someone else’s daughter and let her
run her home. We do not mind education and you showing us some of your skills
even in the kitchen-we do not mind. But do not frustrate someone’s daughter and
forget that she is the one taking care of your son and his children. How nice
will it be, if for a change a daughter-in-law could just say, ‘I love my mother
in law.’ Do you know how good it will feel to have an extra person looking out
for you because she has embraced you with no ill feeling? Or she is not doing
because of your son but just because she likes you because you are nice to her.
Who would not want to have two mothers?
But some of you go out of your way to not like anything the
wife to your son does that she goes out of her way not to want to have you
around. She is praying for your demise because you are frustrating her efforts.
Don’t control or try to interfere in your son’s marriage
At times, your son will ask for advice. Do not be that
mother that wants to say, ‘I told you not to marry that woman.’ It is done; now
move on because the one you think is good enough might not be. Be the
mother-in-law that makes her daughter in law want to come to you for advice.
If they have a problem and they do not invite you to sit at
the table, do not sit at the table. Mind your business and let them figure it
out on their own. Don’t be the one looking for issues or the one telling them
it will not work. Who do you want them to turn to if they really want to stay
with each other? You do not want to be left at the sidelines.
The issue of providing
Your son will not let you die of hunger and if your daughter
in law likes you, neither will she. When he marries, he might not be able to do
some of the things he used to be able to do. Understand that especially if a
child is now in the mix. Understand he cannot continue being lavish on some
things because now he has to be smarter when it comes to money.
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