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4 times not to talk about sex

12 August 2015, 14:37 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - You should not talk about sex all the time. Here's 4 times you should never do so.

Before, During or After Sex

If you are talking about sex with your partner, we are hoping it is because you are hoping for a positive outcome.

It is also important to note that timing is a crucial part. I am not saying that you organize a conference or tell someone ‘we are having the talk!’ No.

Before sex and they will go in with anxiety or bitterness because they are thinking you were doing okay for you to crumble their walls. The only time you should talk during sex is when you are giving positive reinforcement or positive redirection; otherwise it is not the time to tap someone and the shoulder and be like, ‘yea, I have been wanting to let you know that that never works for me.’ After sex and it will be like you are marking an exam paper. Unless you passed all your exams you will understand this.

When they clearly have something else on their mind

Contrary to popular belief that sex is the answer to solving everything in a relationship, there are other things to think about for each individual in that relationship. This is when the concept of space can be applied. You will know and some of you know when your partner is going through something but chose to ignore the moment. It does not matter if they are staring off into space but it is clear they have something on their mind. It may be work, school or crazy relatives and ailing parents. That is not the time to think of re-evaluating your bedroom activities. Even if you are thinking it is killing two birds with one stone because that is how most couples think.

 ‘Since we are solving a problem now, let me add on this one and we solve all of them now.’ That is not nice. You will be showing them that you came in with an underhand agenda and not for them solely.

When they are ailing

Nothing looks better than a partner who will not shout back at you or argue with you when you want to have a discussion with them. That is why most people like ‘discussing’ things when the person they are discussing it with is on the sickbed. It is not the time to hand out your sexual grievances even if you are in the bedroom. Wait for them to get better so they have the energy to fight with you about it.

When ED pops up

Erectile dysfunction. It pops up unexpectedly and at times when you least expect it. Even being stressed can cause it. It is not the end of the world but because you are confronting that, does not mean you bring up your grievances there and then. There are many ways to kill a cat and you might do it without being aware.

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Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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