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4 things to expect from relationships

12 May 2015, 16:27 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - There are things you should always expect from relationships.


You will not always be right

What this means is at times you might actually be right but you need to let the other person win. Some arguments usually have no purpose-they are not heading anywhere.

A lot of couples like talking about how they are always fighting. If you ask them what they are arguing about, they will tell you about the ones that make sense they leave out the ones about disagreement on restaurants or what to order in. Such stupid things. If you are the one with the bigger head just let it go because it is just a matter of asking yourself. What do you value more? The relationship or winning.

You always have a choice. If you are allergic to the food they want or do not like tomatoes on pizza, then just order something else. That simple. 

Your partner will not change to what you want if they just read your revisions.

You can never change people. They can grow, but if there is no maturity in that equation then it is not happening.

If they like drinking on Sundays, they will go drink. If they cannot spend a whole weekend in the house, then read that book. They might try to do it for you, but on their own will not because you instruct them to. A friend of mine is such people. He cannot spend a weekend in the house. The girlfriend thought that she could change that. So, date nights unlike most people where they are outside, she organized them inside. Long story short it did not work out. It led to the break up simply because she thought she could change the guy.

You will not get the love you want

People fail at love because they try to carry the love they see on other people and place it on their partners’ shoulders. When we say people are different we are not talking about them being introverts vs. extroverts or one liking coffee as compared to tea.

We are talking about how you see one person being treated by their partner is not the way your partner will treat you. Some people are openly affectionate others hate public displays, so when you see one kissing someone in public do not look at your partner with a questioning eye wondering if they love you less. People are just different. You can voice expectation but that does not mean it will be met 100%.

Expect mistakes

Over the years, there is a method I use when it comes to receiving something, meeting people and what not. I never place high expectations on them, I usually go in with a neutral mind that has the least expectations. That way when I receive poor service, I will not fall into a rage of disappointment. I will just shrug my shoulders, regret the loss of my money but look for a better seller.

It is that simple with relationships as well, too high expectations that you want to work in a short term will give you a lot of heartbreak and disappointment. You need to learn to shrug your shoulders and move on. Investing too much in the short term, gets you disappointment. What am I saying? They are human, expect their mistakes. In the larger scale that way when they are small you learn to adjust. If you want it to work. If you cannot adjust, you just shrug your shoulders and move on.


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