4 things not to do when meeting the parents
14 September 2015, 18:43
Nairobi - Meeting your partner’s parents for the first time is
awkward, but mostly stressful. You are not sure what their boundaries are and
you do not want to turn them off with a wrongful attitude or unwise words. You
want to get on their good side faster than you would want to get on their bad
Keep your partner’s confidences to you between the two of you.
At times, to feel up awkward silence or try to win someone
over you want to open up to them and you use information that you might think
they will find valuable. When it comes to the parents you will want to tell
them something that your partner might have told you in confidence in efforts
of bringing them into the loop; to show them that they can trust you in the
family. What you end up doing is showing them that they cannot trust their
child’s security around you. If they are not around you will talk to someone
else. You end up being perceived as worse.
Anything your partner might have told you about their upbringing
Good experiences and reminiscing is good. Remark on a
photograph but do not mention shortcomings that your partner might have told
you about. You will end up creating tension and creating distrust between the
parents and their child. This in turn makes both parties blame you. Another
problem you have just created.
Ask personal questions
First time meeting is never the best time to discuss an
infirmity, drama and issues your partner might have told you about. First time
is about creating a comfortable and casual experience such that they would want
to meet you again. If they talk about it do not cut in with your knowledge, let
them talk about their experience. You need to maintain a comfortable scenario
Listen more, talk less
Refer to the above text. Do not be the overbearing party;
the one who feels uncomfortable. Let them ask you questions and get to know
you. Not the other way around.
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