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4 things never to do in-front of your children

25 June 2015, 17:14 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - African culture dictates that some things should not be done in-front of the children. 

I had to add the culture part because the television says otherwise. The internet says otherwise and everybody else in my generation would disagree with me otherwise.

Apparently these days’ children need to know that they are loved and how do you show them that they are loved? By the parents showing the home is loving enough for them. But the people are going about it the wrong way. In fact it confuses me as well most of the time.

Growing up, I do not think I ever saw my parents or any other child’s parent’s kiss. The first time I saw people kissing must have been on The Bold and the Beautiful and that is because I peeped from the corner while a grown up watched the television. I still have not seen my parent’s kissing or hugging at my age and I do not think I would be comfortable if I saw it.

What about when I have children? Will I be willing to openly display any forms of affection in front of my children? I think a hug here and there will suffice but not beyond that. In my opinion, I do not need to lay on top of their father while watching television for them to know that they are in a loving home. Or plop slobbering kisses in the home. A peck on the cheek to welcome someone home or bid them goodbye works well enough.

There are many ways for us to share intimacy as a family with our children without resorting to Mexican soaps standards. Sharing laughs, joking with your children and telling stories is also a sign of affection. Just because it is what you see on the television does not mean that it is okay.

If your child sees you showing approval of it or aping it then that is when they think it is okay for them to do the same things. That is the twist that parent’s today are yet to learn. Yes, they watch it. Yes, you cannot police them but as long as they know you do not approve of it you do not need to worry that they will embarrass you at some birthday party. They will not want to create an uncomfortable situation for you as a family.

If on the other hand, you show them that it is okay and that is what people are allowed to do and can do this days then you have no one else to blame other than yourself when they ape what you are doing at home. In front of them.

Hugging is okay in front of children? Touching a spouse in an appropriate manner is also okay? I do not think a peck on the cheek is bad? Others would disagree. The point is know the boundaries that you as a parent should expose your child to. If you cross it, then be ready for the repercussions and do not be ready to curse the television. It is not the television but you!

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