4 things an African wife MUST do
25 April 2016, 23:57
Nairobi - First of all, I said African because I do not know what
those Westernized people do and as we can all see, we tried copying feminism
and it is confusing the hell out of a lot of African women. That thing where a
man tells you since you want equality you can also pay half the bill has some
of us in quite the conundrum. We want to be equal but we don’t want any part of
bills only men who are not men do that. (Definitely rolling my eyes).
That is why some of us are just unapologetic on our stance.
I will not mention mine because I do not want someone having a mental argument
Watching a lot of couples, you slowly come to the
realization of a lot of things about women who want to be wives, are wives and
men who have wives and those who will dodge that situation as long as it is in
their capability to do so. Not many African women know how to be wives. If that
is the case then why would someone want one that is why a lot of women are left
saying, there are no husbands around. Husbands are there, thing is, they are
just men who need to be convinced that you have something that they cannot do
without. That is what wives do. It’s basically sales but you act more like the
buyer than the seller.
‘Jua kuficha uchi’
It is best expressed in that one Swahili term. You need to
learn how to keep your marital issues in your own home. It gets to a point
where a couple, due to dissatisfaction or whatever might be wrong that a wife
starts telling tales as a means to embarrass the man. What you end up doing is
also looking foolish because you are staying with someone you claim is not
good. You need not tell your relatives, sister or mother the embarrassing
things that go on in your house. That is what proper wives do, they hide the
nitty gritty. Because your man is jobless and you have been carrying the burden
for a while, you do not tout about it. That is what is called, ‘kuficha uchi’.
Just because you are
wife does not mean you stop being a girlfriend
You remember while you were dating how you went out of your
way to make sure that your man was yours and nobody else could have him. Some
women think that, just because they are now the wife they can slack off on the
things that make a man feel like a man. Just wait, the surprise will be on you.
No one these days cares if a man has a wife; women now want to be second wives,
co-wives, and side dishes. If you want a man to act like a boyfriend, you have
to be his girlfriend; that is how you get dates out of your husband and trips
without kids. That is how you make someone want to please you by pleasing them.
Wear fancy lingerie, invest in perfume (not the choking kind), dress in front
of your man(yes, there are women who rush to dress in another room but never in
front of their husband.) just do things the way you did them to convince the
guy you are the one for him.
There is nothing
wrong with being submissive
The only way you will never have a problem with being
submissive is when you choose to be with a man that you respect. That is the
trick. Not a lot of women/wives respect their husbands and that is why
submissiveness is an issue. What do you need to respect a man? Choose that.
Don’t rush to settle down with the wrong man because none of the above will
ever work in your marriage. Being
submissive is how you get what you want from your husband. Submissiveness in
how you approach him, how you talk to him, how you confront him, cajole him and
seduce him. Obviously if you have been a harridan, he will suspect the change
but that is okay as long as you get what you want.
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