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4 things an African wife MUST do

25 April 2016, 23:57 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - First of all, I said African because I do not know what those Westernized people do and as we can all see, we tried copying feminism and it is confusing the hell out of a lot of African women. That thing where a man tells you since you want equality you can also pay half the bill has some of us in quite the conundrum. We want to be equal but we don’t want any part of bills only men who are not men do that. (Definitely rolling my eyes).

That is why some of us are just unapologetic on our stance. I will not mention mine because I do not want someone having a mental argument with me.

Watching a lot of couples, you slowly come to the realization of a lot of things about women who want to be wives, are wives and men who have wives and those who will dodge that situation as long as it is in their capability to do so. Not many African women know how to be wives. If that is the case then why would someone want one that is why a lot of women are left saying, there are no husbands around. Husbands are there, thing is, they are just men who need to be convinced that you have something that they cannot do without. That is what wives do. It’s basically sales but you act more like the buyer than the seller.

‘Jua kuficha uchi’

It is best expressed in that one Swahili term. You need to learn how to keep your marital issues in your own home. It gets to a point where a couple, due to dissatisfaction or whatever might be wrong that a wife starts telling tales as a means to embarrass the man. What you end up doing is also looking foolish because you are staying with someone you claim is not good. You need not tell your relatives, sister or mother the embarrassing things that go on in your house. That is what proper wives do, they hide the nitty gritty. Because your man is jobless and you have been carrying the burden for a while, you do not tout about it. That is what is called, ‘kuficha uchi’.

Just because you are wife does not mean you stop being a girlfriend

You remember while you were dating how you went out of your way to make sure that your man was yours and nobody else could have him. Some women think that, just because they are now the wife they can slack off on the things that make a man feel like a man. Just wait, the surprise will be on you. No one these days cares if a man has a wife; women now want to be second wives, co-wives, and side dishes. If you want a man to act like a boyfriend, you have to be his girlfriend; that is how you get dates out of your husband and trips without kids. That is how you make someone want to please you by pleasing them. Wear fancy lingerie, invest in perfume (not the choking kind), dress in front of your man(yes, there are women who rush to dress in another room but never in front of their husband.) just do things the way you did them to convince the guy you are the one for him.

There is nothing wrong with being submissive

The only way you will never have a problem with being submissive is when you choose to be with a man that you respect. That is the trick. Not a lot of women/wives respect their husbands and that is why submissiveness is an issue. What do you need to respect a man? Choose that. Don’t rush to settle down with the wrong man because none of the above will ever work in your marriage.  Being submissive is how you get what you want from your husband. Submissiveness in how you approach him, how you talk to him, how you confront him, cajole him and seduce him. Obviously if you have been a harridan, he will suspect the change but that is okay as long as you get what you want.





- MyNews24

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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