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4 silly mistakes men make for women

10 March 2015, 16:24 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - When it comes to talking about relationships; I do not pick sides. I will blast both sides and I will also praise both sides. Call me the Switzerland version of Auntie Relationships. Just like we talk about women who fawn over men and rearrange their lives to suit that man and please him, we should also talk about the men who find themselves in the same situation.


Women, we do the little things, we will miss the odd weekend with the girlfriends because we are doing someone’s laundry and his hands are tied. We will walk in the rain just to buy him meat and cook him dinner so that he does not sleep hungry. Our lives basically go on besides the little things you do to please him. On the other hand, let me talk about the men; when they say mwanaume ni effort, some efforts make me questions someone’s sanity. I see a lot of men around me suffering. Not that love is easy, even though I think it should be because all that grief for something you can avoid; maybe I am the fool.


When a man likes a woman and he wants just her; at times it can be amusing to watch him go through extreme lengths to get her and also saddening at the same time. My Kenyan brothers do some things for the women they love (yet the woman is pining for some other misbegotten soul).


Case 1. When he sleeps hungry but buys her ‘chicken’

Notice how I have put the chicken in brackets, not because we are talking about chicken that costs KES 180 at Kenchic but the one that costs KES 5000. A friend of mine was having a conversation with some woman he was trying to ‘ingiza box’, so he was asking me what he should tell her on their conversation so that he does not look like a fool. But what caught my eye was the texts before, she had asked him to send her KES 5000 for supper because she had nothing at the house and really wanted chicken. He had promptly sent the money, M-Pesa of course. This man had never gone for a date with this woman, he had not even eaten supper and was going to sleep hungry although he had said he was ‘full’. She was not yet girlfriend, but in his efforts to convince her to be his, he was starving himself in the process. Being a woman who likes food, and knowing that women like food, I am yet to hear of a woman who has slept hungry because the man she wants needed to eat. It is quite obvious she needed that money to pay for something else, not dinner. Love is blind, and also lacks in common sense.


Case 2. When you send/give her your rent so that she sort herself out

‘Hey, babe. Nimekwama kidogo and mum needs to go to hospital please help me out with KES 10000.’ My brother, that money will not foster good relations between you and the in-laws that YOU want. It is fostering good relations between your wallet and her closet.  So while you are being hanged out to dry by the landlord, her closet is boasting a new pair of Steve Maddens.


Case 3 When you drink one beer and she gets drowned in Cosmos and Mojitos

They are both cocktails. Tribeka does cocktails at around Kshs 500(not sure) and they come in tiny flutes of glass-all cocktails are tiny. Chances are by the time you are quarter way through your beer, she is on her third cocktail.  Because you know she is not yet high you will forebear and drink that one bottle and not get kicked out for having one too many that you cannot afford. Look at the bright side though, she finally agreed to go on a date.


Case 4 When your kinyozi is KES 50 but her hair is KES 10,000

So you have to look for about KES 15000 every month just to make sure that she always looks good. Otherwise, you are not getting any. You have yet to send your mother credit or give her an allowance back at home, but because sweety needs her hair done you can postpone mum. For the women who battle with their mother in laws after they are married, just ask yourself how he neglected her while procuring you. While he courted you, she took a backseat, but now that you are in his zone; you have to share the seat with her.

- MyNews24

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