4 signs you can introduce him to your parents
11 March 2016, 19:38
Nairobi - It is not taken as seriously these days as it used to. What
normally used to happen was that if your parent saw you talking to a strange
person at the gate you were meant to say they were asking for directions and
you have never seen them ever in your life.
I remember the one time my sister was paid a visit by her
male classmates and my mother made them all kneel down in the living room. She
has this habit of designing her houses in such a way that if you are at the
gate she can see you from the living room and you cannot go outside from either
door unless you pass her in the living room. So this one time, she was in the
living room and there was someone knocking at the gate. The help went and
opened and since my mother could see a groupie of around four gentlemen haggling with the maid, she
called me and asked me if I knew who they were. I was always the culprit
according to her despite my lack of any male associations. I was happy to inform
her that I did not know them so she asked me with a very happy and smiling face
to tell the maid to let them in.
The guys feeling confident came in and greeted my mother.
Being the chameleon that she is, she was smiling and happy and jovial while she
greeted them back. Then she asked the question, ‘So who are you paying a
visit?’ Then they said my sister’s name. My father walks in and because he
knows his wife, he just walked away and I was watching gleefully because I knew
she was about to reign some drama on their heads. She sent the maid to call my sister then she
turned to the men and asked them if they could kneel down. You read it right.
She did not screech, scream or bark, she asked, ‘Can you please kneel down?’
The guys look at each other in confusion, and then they look at me as if I knew
some code they were missing. To avoid
being chased away, I looked on meekly and pretended not to be paying attention.
My sister comes and she is asked, ‘So who are these people!’
My sister has this demeanor that I do not know how to even explain it. She
never shows when she is caught unawares but acts like she is in charge. She
looks at the guys who had obediently knelt down on the floor, looks at my
mother straight on and says, ‘My classmates!’ Then she looks at my mother like
she is the foolish one and why she has interrupted her to ask her such a dimwit
question. I knew there was not going to be any drama because my mother now had
this confused look because my sister does really kill it with her face and
answers. So my mother asks her, ‘What are they doing here?’ Then my sister
goes, ‘I do not know. Why don’t you ask them?’ In Swahili! Now everyone was
confused and my sister walked away. She was not twenty or even fifteen; she was
in primary and thirteen. That is when my mother started screeching-not at her
but at the guys. ‘If I ever see you again on this road; I will make sure you go
to jail.’ You know those petty lies but they really were effective when my
mother made them.
That is why in any African household, if you were sent to
the shop. You were told to count to ten and by the time you hit ten, you were
back. The only people who met your parents were the ones that were about to
marry you, otherwise, you were a virgin and never interacted with species from
the opposite sex.
Obviously a future
spouse should be presentable
The only way a parent will respect your partner is if they
know you respect them as well. If you have the habit of dragging anything and
everything you date to meet your family, your parents will never take any
future possibility seriously. They will still assume that you are joking around
even while you are not.
They are committed to
you as you are committed to them
Most partners think to force someone into a relationship by
creating that link to the family. So you tell them it is not that big a deal
but as they listen to you talk to the parents, it is a big deal. You will never
hear from them again and that is how your parents keep on meeting different
people and end up getting tired of it.
You two are in the
Refer to the above text. You only introduce someone who is
as mutually committed to you as you are to them. They are not seeing other
people and they understand that you are with them because you feel the same way
You are proud to
introduce your partner
See how my sister walked away from her ‘beaus’? If you are
not proud of your partner then they are not the ones meant for you or you have
an idea of them that is not quite right. Pride in your partner is the only
thing that will ensure that your parents never disrespect your partner. Unless
you are also someone who has never been taken seriously, thus, no matter how
good the partner they look bad for even being with you.
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