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4 signs he is not the one for you

15 December 2015, 12:27 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - Chasing or forcing a relationship with someone? I have just the right type of medicine to cure you of that ailment and make you disease free. If you want it!

Different values

You will never make it work with someone who does not see things the way you do. I am not talking about opposites attracting; that is different. This is more like you want to be somewhere different than they want to be in a few years. Something like you value marriage; they see it a gimmick- that is why a lot of couples are stuck in situationships not sure whether to end it or be bitter about wasted years. You thought they would change but they haven’t. They do not agree with the way you want to raise the kids or the lifestyle you want. They believe in stay at home wife, you believe in career woman and empowerment- they will not change their mind, it is a conditioning. So before you force someone into something, ask yourself if you are ready to deal with their demands. They might agree but have conditions that will anger you in a few years. You are happy to get what you want for now then be angry in a few years because the phase has passed.

You want to change them or they keep trying to change you in the name of making you better

It has always been that timeless red flag that most couples choose to ignore under the assumption that that person just wants the best for them. You cannot make someone better if they do not want better for themselves and you can also not make someone fit into your criteria and ideal. You will end up being disappointed and you will end up making them feel bitter and resentful when they eventually just don’t make it work.

They condescend to you                                                                                      

Just listen to the way someone talks to you and you will understand what I mean when someone condescends to you. When they talk to you it is as if they know what you want for yourself better than you actually do. They snicker when you make suggestions and giving you one that is deemed as more appropriate to your/ the problem. It is disrespect but more underdog that makes you doubt yourself. Then they give you a pat on the back like a good little child for listening.

They don’t share your pride in your accomplishments

It is either too small for them to actually celebrate or take notice or it is not as much of a big a deal as you make it out to be. They have done bigger and greater things or they have done nothing at all and make you feel like you are being too excited over nothing. Yours is nothing and they will never encourage you but be pessimistic.

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Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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