4 signs he is escaping marriage
15 February 2016, 18:03
Nairobi - I was reading an interesting article and it was advising
women on how to get a man to propose. It outlined the various ways in which you
can show him what he will be missing if you leave or throw an ultimatum. It
also explained how to show him you are the correct wife material for him and
proper mother material for the children the two of you will have together. As I
read the article I did not even finish, I just came up with this title because
I thought to myself, ‘No wonder women are always looking foolish when they are
dating or in a relationship.’ They run around doing all these things for
someone who is not meant to be with her; basically the wrong men. They are
always getting bad advice instead of giving them the brutal honest truth.
In this day and age, you should be more careful of who you
run after trying to make a husband out of them. These days, there is nothing
like I am pregnant so now we have to get married. People are co-parenting, best
case scenario. Worst case scenario is when he leaves and you never see him
again because he just never cared.
Our generation, people have already made the decision not to
get married. Do they want children? Yes, but this is what happens it is either
an arrangement between two consenting people or they have an oops moment and they are done. No need
to marry in order to have children.
Watch out for a man
who is already a father but seems to be enjoying that bachelor life too much
He already has a child with another woman but they are not
together. They decided to raise the child, or in some cases he has more than
one baby mother; a son over here and a daughter over there. When you bring up
marriage, he says it is something not on his mind or he just closes up. You
have been dating and he is looking too easy, not talking about raising a
family. That man might already have decided there is no need for permanent
arrangement and whatever you do, you will find yourself in hot soup all on your
own. He might not mind if you have a child but trust me, he will not be around
long enough for that family the business you are planning. He might help raise
the child but he will not have the obligation to stay with you; just like the
other baby mothers.
Someone who is
evading meeting your parents or family
If you are still living at home, and he is dropping you
off, he will be allergic to your gate or neighborhood. He asks that you come
meet him at some corner because it is too complicated to park and then move
from there again. If it is at night, he will keep a distance and just drop you
where it is sufficiently safe to his taste. He does not want your family
getting ideas like the ones you are having. At least now, if he breaks it off,
it is only one party involved to deal with. If it is a family with his phone
number, they will keep calling and asking why he is no longer visiting. At
least if he is breaking a heart, it is one and it is yours.
He is comfortable
with the relationship, but the topic of permanence is forever closed.
The above scenarios will give you the impression that the
man does not want a relationship. But do not get it twisted; he likes having a
girlfriend, what he does not want is a wife. He does not want marriage, he
wants a girlfriend though. Most of the time, a man will tell this to a woman
and she will set on a path of trying to change his mind. If a man tells you
something, take it and believe it. Do not think he is confused, he does not
know what he wants or he just has to see the advantages. If a man is successful
to the point you want him for yourself, what makes you think he is confused
about something like that? He knows what
he wants you are just the one that wants to ruin herself trying to change his
mind for him.
You keep on giving
ultimatums and they have never changed anything
‘If you don’t do this, I will go.’ You are still there. ‘I
have other people who want me but I am sacrificing myself for you.’ Did he tell
you to sacrifice yourself? You are still there. ‘I am the best thing that has
ever happened to you.’ Maybe but if you have said all these and nothing has
changed, the man is waiting for you to go for someone else to take over.
Ultimatums only work when someone actually follows up by changing or doing
something to make the situation better the way you want it. If they are still
the same, they are biding their time. That man does not want marriage.
‘I just want her to get pregnant and I am done!’ Words
spoken by one man, watch the devil you dance with. Don’t think because the man
has let you move in or is not too conscious about using protection; has finally
let you in. Men have upgraded their game as well. ‘Why buy the cow if I am
already getting the milk?’
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