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4 signs he is a bad man

08 April 2016, 18:23 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - I was reading something this morning; actually I was very excited when I clicked on the link. But then as I kept reading I realized that the woman was a bit or let me just say, a lot misguided on what she was talking about and I quickly understood why most women when it comes to dating, take the wrong advise. At the end of the day, some of that advice is the only thing she could find but it came from the wrong person.

The worst thing is, when there is a cheer from the author at the end of it so when you once again experience a dating fail, you do not understand what you did was wrong. You would rather agree with the writer and say, ‘They don’t know what they are missing.’ But what if you are the one that is missing out?  At times you have to knock yourself over the head and realize you might just be the one that is wrong.

Don’t walk into a date a couple of hours late and say women are fashionably late. That is cute….that is for girls but grown women know how to show respect and how do you do that; by showing up on time. You do not like your time wasted, neither do other people. That is why after a couple of disrespectful actions, you will not get a call from someone who is serious about you and their life. Someone who is also up for games will most definitely play with you.

Second of all, you cannot use the line fashionably late if the product still needs some work. You show up late and you look like struggle, just stay you were stuck on Mombasa road traffic.

But what type of a man is actually a jerk. Like let us seriously think and talk about this without so much emotional distortion.

Is not conscious about you

He does not care how you get to the date, does not even ask if the place will be alright for you but he will definitely comment if you show up late. He will not ask how far you live or if it is safe for you to go back after a particular time while arranging the date. When the dinner is done and you say you are going home, he gets a taxi for himself or drives off (because you are not giving ‘it’ up) and tells you get home safe. You will wait for him to call and ask if you got home okay-will not happen. The next time you will hear from the guy is him asking If you are available and you will go because you are bored and want to eat.

Comments on your choice of dressing

Note to men: You do not want a woman wearing make-up, don’t ask her out. You do not want a woman wearing a lot of make-up; don’t ask her out so that you can ask her to do less. Pick the one with an au natural look. You do not want the one that wears a lot less and more fitting; choose the one that dresses the way you want. For heaven’s sake there are women all over with different tastes and different ways of doing things. It is up to you to pick to be rejected or accepted.

Don’t see a woman looking the way she looks and approach her then take her out for a date and say, ‘I really do not like women that look like….’ How did you miss the meter long eyelashes and waxed nails? You could have just as easily chosen the woman with kinky hair, no foundation to mar your fancy shirt, no nail polish and wearing a dera; stop being so facetious. Please.

You have a jerk in your hand if he goes out of his way to make you uncomfortable over your looks and style. It was up to him to leave you alone when he saw you and pick someone else.  If you like acrylics, work hard and pay for them yourself, then do it. If you like painting your face because it makes you confident then just do it because you will lose no matter how much less you do. Next time he will tell you, ‘you are not even that pretty’. You will find a man who will appreciate you just the way you like, just give yourself a chance and time. Hurry with this idiot and see how miserable you will be.

Makes derogatory comments about your work

He is a jerk if he makes small comments about your work- small in that he is belittling your job. You are on a date or relationship but he says something like, ‘When we marry, you will just stay at home because I cannot see how your work adds value. Your pay is not even that good.’

If you agree well then, that is another matter but if it hurts you, just walk away because you will not change that attitude no matter how much more you read, get promoted or grow.

Someone who orders for you-always

The other day I told my mother I will start eating escargots. She asked me what is that and I answered snails. She choked on whatever she was drinking, ‘Shakila you mean you will now eat snails. The ones I see crawling on the ground every day?’  I was like, ‘of course not. These ones are made by the French and they come in their shells. Besides, I heard they are good for your skin.’ I do so enjoy toying with her but they really are good for your skin.

That is the extent of my knowledge when it comes to ‘fancy’ cuisine. If any man tries to tell me what fork I should use, I will stab him with it.

A jerk will take you to fancy places not for you to enjoy or discover but for him to show off his knowledge and make you look like a nitwit. He will go out of his way to order for you and choke on those foreign words to make you wonder whether you are the stupid one or the one that is actually stupid for accepting the date in the first place.

There is ordering for when someone asks you kindly but not the one where someone tells the waiter you will not need the menu.


- MyNews24

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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