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4 sex lies to avoid

09 September 2015, 18:28 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - I am all for living a healthy sex life, all within appropriate parameters of course.

I am also for knowing when to open your legs, when to close them and with whom each scenario applies to. The problem is when you are leading people or someone on knowing full well that you are not going anywhere with them. That will get you in trouble.

Do not claim to have standards that you do not actually have

There is no secret under the sun; ever! I do not do this, I cannot do that, I am not that type, I do not let myself get into that; the list can go on and on. What you allow yourself to do does not change the fact because you take out the enjoyment part of it. You still did it. Just because you refused to have sex but agreed to oral sex does not change the fact that his equipment was IN some part of you at the end of it. Even if you did not allow him to finish; you still did it.

If you have figured out that a man is not for you, then he is not for you. Leave it at that

I know how good it feels when someone is willing to wine and dine you for as long as you want because they are aiming for the ‘obvious’ outcome of sex. If you were genuine and they were not genuine in their intentions, you are allowed to eat that meal and not have to see them again. It is your right. On the other hand stringing someone along because you want to continue eating at Moniko’s and it is not on your budget is not nice. It feels good to have free meals but it feels worse when you gain a bad reputation for it and stringing people along.

Do not give out signals that you are not aiming to act on

It is your fault when someone’s expects something from you because that is how you chose to act around them. Do not pretend to be surprised when they concluded, that your touching, heavy body contact and sexual innuendo meant that you were going to have sex with them. That is on you, not them. You are not allowed to be angry. If you want a relationship, the wait on the heavy petting during dates. If sex is what you are aiming for, do not pretend at the end of the night. That is what leaves a sour taste in someone’s mouth.

You are not wife/girlfriend material just because you waited a year with him

Men do research. Let’s say it again; men do research. If he is pursuing you for whatever the purpose maybe he already knows your record or has an idea of it. The women who can get away with it are the ones who do not get around but if you do, do not think that making him wait will qualify you. He will wait, he will play your games, he will get what he wants but do not act surprised when he pulls a Houdini. He already knew what you are about just that you aimed to make him wait longer for his prize. Be you and try win with your personality while you are at it. If he does not like it or you, then good riddance to him and on to the next one.


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Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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