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4 secrets to a long relationship

22 October 2015, 19:02 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - Having a long relationship is not easy. How can you manage one though?

Avoid being the type that keeps bringing up the past in every confrontation

Don’t sweep things under the rug and if you choose to do so, don’t bring them back up. It’s cliché but we all do it and we keep on doing it until the other person gets tired of it. Then you wonder if you were on the wrong for reminding them so that they do not have to repeat it. Chances are when it is something small, they will repeat it and reminding them of it does not help the situation. You are making them look like they have a huge fault which they are not adult enough to remedy. 

Avoid holding onto grudges

It is hard for anyone to admit to it but people tend to keep grudges even with their supposed ‘loving’ partner. When you can turn around and say, at least I got one over them does not improve things but makes things worse. Grudges also build bitterness because even a though at a low situation makes a 10 situation a 90 situation. The anger over the now situation builds tenfold or worse.

Everyone has an ego, pride and they want respect. Don’t forget that

Both sides! Respect underlines it all. Love can never thrive if there is no respect. Remember your man’s ego around his friend and remember your woman’s pride around her family and friends. It goes both ways. Remember your woman’s ego when she does not do something to the standards that you expected and remember your man’s pride when you talk about your business and his to anyone.

You don’t have to interfere with everything just because you are now ‘partners’

At times when you find someone complaining about their partner not opening up to them, you might find that it is the pettiest situations that they are reacting to. You do not have to know everything neither do you have to be part and parcel to every situation. A partner is invited and when their opinion is given, it is not to tell them next time, ‘I told you so’, ‘you should have come to me’ or ‘I knew you could not solve it without me’. 

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