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4 relationships MUSTS in 2016

01 January 2016, 15:56 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - Can you imagine there are some people that have made their third year or maybe even second year mark but yet they are still feeling frustrated because it is not quite how they had pictured it. You ushered in the New Year last night together; maybe even sat down for a talk on the things that you two will change to make it better. The problem with this is that it is not the first time otherwise you would not be this unsure or worried if it will actually work.

Let me tell you what; I will give you simple rules/ guidelines to achieve what you want.

Make a list, and then look at the person you are with and make a comparison of what is on the list and them

Your case is different, unlike a lot of people who have no clue as to what they want, you do. But then you got into this relationship thinking that compromise is not a bad thing. Then you later told yourself how you could change them, or the relationship would make them change to the tune you wanted but that is not happening and has not happened.

That is the problem with most relationships that are doomed to fail it might not be now but it will happen. If the person you are with now is the same as they were, then there is nothing you can do that will make them into what you want- ever! It is either you leave them and look for what you want to actually really get or you stay and live with what you are getting now. It is never that complicated. You will think of all the blood and sweat and turmoil but just because relationships are hard work it does not mean you carry stones the whole time. If you choose to do just that, don’t turn around and be resentful because you were afraid of what would happen if you let go of them.

You will have to be clear-headed enough to know that you will have to let go of some people and some habits

It is not just about the other person but you as well. Some things you do might be the reason you repel the kind of love and wanting that you want in a relationship. Your circle can also be a turn off. Bad advice has never sounded better than when coming from ill-reputable people. You go out of your way to look for the best qualities in your future partner but what will make them want to share them with you? If you did not have a good answer, then there is your answer.

Falling off the wagon

The worst relationship alliances, liaisons, bad decisions and regret is usually around February especially for the women. It is only around 40 days away. You can imagine the number of single women that are vulnerable to a touch, a few whispered words on fidelity and commitment, and false promises of love because the man also knows V-day is around the corner. Soon enough you let go of the list and say, you are willing to work it out and that is how the year ends with someone in a weird love triangle, funny situation, a circus ring in her head and a love that is not panning out as she hopes it would.

Have something else to do

I am not saying you give up and focus all your energies on other things because avoidance only works temporarily until you are home alone and back to over thinking. Just have something else going on so that you do not put too much credence on your failures. But if you make the mistake of trying to make a plan with timelines, you will keep getting frustrated.

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Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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