4 reasons your man is not proposing
25 February 2016, 18:41
Nairobi - I do not mean the ‘joker’ type of boyfriends but the serious
type. Some women are dating jokers and they fall in two categories, you either
know, or you don’t; in which case we already know what to expect-no proposal.
But what if you are dating a man you know is serious about
you and you know wants a family-with you nonetheless? Why is he taking so long
to make it official?
Reason No. 1 Your
proposal expectations are too high
You have sat down and really planned this day. Your friends
know what you want and most importantly, your man also knows what you want. The
problem is that you are not being very realistic, from the ring to where you
want the location to be and whom to be invited. It already feels like a
mini-wedding for him and that type or pressure will just make a man put you on
pause until you become desperate enough to do the asking. That way, you just
make it easier for him to give you whatever he can afford and do within reason.
You will be happy-which is the point. So evaluate your ambitions, they might be
the reason your man is dodging your proposal.
Reason No. 2 The idea
of the wedding you want is scary
Just like the proposal, the wedding might be a bit out of
hand when it comes to the budget and the kind of celebration you want; talk
about the dress.
Once someone proposes, the only way to go from there is
forward and accepting whatever you are given as a man in most cases. You do not
want to be the one to tell your fiancée that something is not within your
budget. Woe unto you if she asks, ‘Then why were you proposing? If you knew you
cannot afford a wedding?’ If you know you have not saved for at least half of
the wedding you want and you know the type of work your man does cannot cater
for it, there is your answer. No one wants to spend a million on a wedding and
still be paying KES 30k rent come the following day. You would rather buy land
Reason No. 3 There is
a relation who is important that does not like you
Worst case scenario is his mother. At times a man will put
you on hold when he knows the relationship between his future wife and mother
is on the rocks. Something else ladies, never think you are smart by pretending
you like the mother to win her graces, puts you further down the line because
she can tell. You would rather try to compromise with her by being you rather
than pretending because that never mends any situation but makes it worse. Other people, an aunt or a sister but I find
it rare for the men to tell a fellow man, she is not the one unless they saw
you at a corner you were not meant to be in.
Reason No. 4 He has
always had a team
For some men, they never date one woman but they have a
horde of them and when it reaches the point of important decision making, he
will line you up like cows and see which is the fattest for a slaughter. Like
weighing the pros and cons of each woman to identify the one best suited for
his intentions. Sounds very rude but I am educating you; so for some of you
ladies, you are very proud and think that you are the one that has made it. The
shock will be on you when he tells you, I found somebody else. You are thinking
they will need a courtship period until you hear from someone that the man is
getting married already. You never be want to be part of a team, trust me.
Always maintain your humility when you are with someone
because as good as they are, there is someone else that is eyeing them as well.
Lose some of that pride when you are with your man, it goes a long way!
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