4 reasons you are still single
11 August 2015, 14:06
Nairobi - Being single by choice is when you know what you want in
your partner. You know yourself really well and you know what will suit you.
Single by choice means you have options but you are not yet desperate to settle
with any of them because you know that they will not suit you or your needs and
desires in a partner.
Single by choice also means that you will not tie
yourself to someone and make them miserable as well just because you need that
committed and ‘in a relationship’ label. You will let them know that they are
not the one for you because you already know it.
You are not single by choice if:
The reality of being alone discomforts you
Reality of being alone can be very loud if you are not used
to your own thoughts. It is not when you go out every weekend with friends. You
are at work Monday to Friday, Friday to Saturday you are surrounded by people.
Sunday you are in church or at a function. You have not had a taste of being
alone. Alone is when your friend gets a call from her boyfriend and you are not
sad she has to go have lunch with him. Alone is when your friend is at a
boyfriend’s or girlfriend’s place for the weekend so they are not available for
your weekend sprees. Alone is when you spend holidays alone. Do that for two
months or one month consecutively. You will have your answer after maybe two or
You are constantly on the lookout for the next one
Jumping from one relationship to the next wanting to fill
that void. If you are only happy when you are with someone and not when you are
alone then you are possibly setting yourself up. When that person is away, gets
a heavier workload and is doing something with their life, you also expect
them, to fulfill that ‘promise’ of happiness that you crave when you are with
them. When they don’t, you are miserable and in turn, you make them miserable.
You chain yourself on the next person hoping to be happy again. Happiness can
only come from you, if you cannot achieve that on your own, then no man or
woman will make you happy. Single by choice means that, even alone, you are
happy. They will only come along to share in that.
You do not give yourself time in between relationships
What many people tend to overlook is the fact that a failed
relationship does not necessarily mean that you are a failure. It just means
that it did not work out for either one of you. Maybe they dumped you or you
dumped them, that it ended only means that one of you made the better decision
in ensuring you did not spend time together being bitter with the other. Wasted
time. That time you spend alone, helps you know yourself, realize any mistakes
on your part or efforts that might have been overlooked. They mean that you
will make better partner and relationship choices. You are single by choice when you allow this
time as compared to rushing to close that gap.
You never settle for partners or in your relationships
If they are not working out for you, you let it go. Clinging
onto something that does not suit you makes a bad fit. Being single by choice
is when you make the realization and make the decision to cut it off. You are
not afraid to wait. Not many people are comfortable waiting.
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