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4 reasons to keep your relationship off social media

19 April 2016, 22:51 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - 

These days for a lot of people and couples, if it apparently is not out there, it apparently does not mean anything. People put so much more importance on that as compared to whether the relationship is working and how can they make it personally better for themselves. I guess that is the first tidbit as to why our parents’ marriages last as compared to why ours never even get a chance. Too many people involved in a relationship before it even matures.

I do not even want to get into it about a certain couple that had the event of the year as their wedding, hosting Kenyans on their personal going ons only for them to break up after a few weeks of marriage. I am not saying you force something if it is no longer there. But what is highlighted here is the fact that, were you two even suited for each other in the first place or you just rushed into it for show?

You invite too many people into your relationship when you put it out there

You see most of the time; forbidden fruit is normally likened to something that is bad or evil. But you see, forbidden fruit can also be sweet, when it is just between me and you. No one else has to know about it or get involved. It is working because no one else knows about it, has an opinion, will give us tips; but the both of us we will find the way on our own and that is at times very alright.

Just put it on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter see how many people pop up talking about how they were an ex, they know them, they heard this or that and the crowning of all that, when it falls, the more to cheer. You know the prime couple I am talking about, now everyone is cheering about how they were out making up fairy tales when it was all false. More people are happy about your sadness because you allowed it.

When it does not work at least you are confident in the notion that it is not because of other people

‘Yes, they did this to an ex.’ ‘I know her/her ex and she said….’’ I have no idea where you met them but I saw them on this street once…’

As long as you create fodder for gossip from you relationship, you will never rest. Someone will always have an opinion. No matter how mature you think you are, on that lonely night when they are elsewhere and you are at home, you will go read a comment at the bottom of the picture you posted and start digging. You instantly do not give the relationship a chance because now, doubt has been introduced. Then there are the strangers that now help you figure out if it is your spouse that they saw somewhere. At times, it works for your benefit when you catch them in something but at times it also does not.

If the relationship had a chance, that is no longer there because you are insecure and thinking and wondering; all because you could not keep your relationship private.



More reasons for the exes to show up

Have I ever told you the story of the rabid dog? Well if I haven’t it goes something like this, ‘If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, set it free again until it finds what it was looking for.’

Mobile phone, Internet, Google, Social media; what do they do for an ex- a way for them to keep tabs on you. You block them but they will have dummy accounts. So when you are there talking about how you are happy and your wedding is in the pipeline; the ex, being miserable or in whatever condition, pops up like, ‘heeeeeey…long time. What have you been up to?’ And the story goes about how you break up an engagement because you thought they had changed and now you lose twice because your former fiancé moved on. You are left with an ex who says they must have lost their mind and they are going back to their relationship.

It publicizes your emotions

You retain some sense of dignity when you are dumped privately. You can just lie and say how it never worked. You can say how you are still single because you are working on you.

Just wait until you are humiliated in public. Do you remember that lady who gifted her husband a luxury car and KRA came knocking? That was her. Now imagine your public humiliation. There is beauty in keeping your relationship, association or whatever private. If it does not work, you do not have to put up a front for anyone. It is still your business and you can lie to save face and that helps you heal faster.

Public embarrassment on the other hand, you now start looking for any rebound to show you are still ‘it’. You end up making rush decisions just for show. Not because it is what you want but because you have to save face and convince.  Even when you move on, you are still not sure if you did it for you or if you are doing it to save face. You just never win.

Keep your relationship off social media and you will be happier for it.


- MyNews24

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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