4 reasons to keep your relationship off social media
19 April 2016, 22:51
These days for a lot of people and couples, if it apparently
is not out there, it apparently does not mean anything. People put so much more
importance on that as compared to whether the relationship is working and how
can they make it personally better for themselves. I guess that is the first
tidbit as to why our parents’ marriages last as compared to why ours never even
get a chance. Too many people involved in a relationship before it even
I do not even want to get into it about a certain couple
that had the event of the year as their wedding, hosting Kenyans on their
personal going ons only for them to break up after a few weeks of marriage. I
am not saying you force something if it is no longer there. But what is
highlighted here is the fact that, were you two even suited for each other in
the first place or you just rushed into it for show?
You invite too many
people into your relationship when you put it out there
You see most of the time; forbidden fruit is normally
likened to something that is bad or evil. But you see, forbidden fruit can also
be sweet, when it is just between me and you. No one else has to know about it
or get involved. It is working because no one else knows about it, has an
opinion, will give us tips; but the both of us we will find the way on our own
and that is at times very alright.
Just put it on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter see how many
people pop up talking about how they were an ex, they know them, they heard
this or that and the crowning of all that, when it falls, the more to cheer.
You know the prime couple I am talking about, now everyone is cheering about
how they were out making up fairy tales when it was all false. More people are
happy about your sadness because you allowed it.
When it does not work
at least you are confident in the notion that it is not because of other people
‘Yes, they did this to an ex.’ ‘I know her/her ex and she
said….’’ I have no idea where you met them but I saw them on this street once…’
As long as you create fodder for gossip from you
relationship, you will never rest. Someone will always have an opinion. No
matter how mature you think you are, on that lonely night when they are
elsewhere and you are at home, you will go read a comment at the bottom of the
picture you posted and start digging. You instantly do not give the
relationship a chance because now, doubt has been introduced. Then there are
the strangers that now help you figure out if it is your spouse that they saw
somewhere. At times, it works for your benefit when you catch them in something
but at times it also does not.
If the relationship had a chance, that is no longer there
because you are insecure and thinking and wondering; all because you could not
keep your relationship private.
More reasons for the
exes to show up
Have I ever told you the story of the rabid dog? Well if I
haven’t it goes something like this, ‘If you love something, set it free. If it
comes back, set it free again until it finds what it was looking for.’
Mobile phone, Internet, Google, Social media; what do they
do for an ex- a way for them to keep tabs on you. You block them but they will
have dummy accounts. So when you are there talking about how you are happy and
your wedding is in the pipeline; the ex, being miserable or in whatever
condition, pops up like, ‘heeeeeey…long time. What have you been up to?’ And
the story goes about how you break up an engagement because you thought they
had changed and now you lose twice because your former fiancé moved on. You are
left with an ex who says they must have lost their mind and they are going back
to their relationship.
It publicizes your
You retain some sense of dignity when you are dumped
privately. You can just lie and say how it never worked. You can say how you
are still single because you are working on you.
Just wait until you are humiliated in public. Do you
remember that lady who gifted her husband a luxury car and KRA came knocking?
That was her. Now imagine your public humiliation. There is beauty in keeping
your relationship, association or whatever private. If it does not work, you do
not have to put up a front for anyone. It is still your business and you can
lie to save face and that helps you heal faster.
Public embarrassment on the other hand, you now start
looking for any rebound to show you are still ‘it’. You end up making rush
decisions just for show. Not because it is what you want but because you have
to save face and convince. Even when you
move on, you are still not sure if you did it for you or if you are doing it to
save face. You just never win.
Keep your relationship off social media and you will be
happier for it.
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