4 reasons to avoid long distance relationships
07 January 2016, 16:12
Nairobi - A lot of couples think they can handle a long distance
relationship up until they are in it. It is work; and not
just a two day feeling of loneliness after they go, but there comes the moments
you wish they were there to talk to and you can’t so you end up talking to
someone else. That is how emotional cheating happens. There are times you have an
idea that you want to pass by someone, they are not there, so you go to the
next best option; trust diminishes in former relationship. You no longer have
important things to talk about other than hi and how was your day.
Cheating is hard when you are going to meet the person at
the end of the day or for a lunch date. You will not notice it but when you
accept that lunch date from a colleague because your partner is never there, it
is the start of something else-cheating. You end up justifying your mistakes
because, ‘they were not here either way!’
Respect the partner that told you they cannot be in a
relationship with you because of the distance because they understand
themselves and what they will need that they will miss out on.
It is so easy to justify why you are keeping something from
your partner when they are away. You don’t want to worry them, why complicate
things for them when what they do not know will not harm them and so on. You
think you are the only one doing it but they might be on the same train of
thought as you are. The trust in the relationship eventually ends because you
two have not been truly honest with each other. That is how you end up seeking
other people whom you are not bound to, to tell it all to.
To justify cheating
If someone tells you they cannot handle a long distance, it
is because sex is part of a healthy relationship for most couples. If you are
in an open relationship; I guess that is your business. But the majority are
pretenders lying how they will last five years while one is at school and be
abstinent. When the bomb drops they decide to just go on with it because either
way, you have needs.
Secrecy and dishonesty are two completely different things;
secrecy-you keep it from them. Dishonesty-you blatantly lie. You know what you
have been lying about; financials, what you have been doing and if you are
married- it is obvious how great those lies are.
They want to eat their
cake and have it too
You want to have that honest, loving, faithful partner whom you
are committed to but they are away. But you also want to see how far your
colleagues legs go under her skirt or how good you fellow co-worker is at
treating his women. So you shut up and have sugared conversations with the
spouse and buy breakfast for the other one that is near you.
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