4 reasons space is important in relationships
13 October 2015, 17:02
Nairobi - I always encourage people, my friends, and women to learn
how to enjoy themselves by themselves. But they do not really know how to do
that though! People are very afraid of their own company and when you are so
co-dependent on someone else for you to enjoy yourself; there will come a time
that it will end and you will not be ready. For example; people in
There is that advice that tells you, if you are in a mess,
stay and fix it. Do not let it evolve or ignore it; which is true.
Sometimes-always straddle the fence it can always be grey but never just black
and white if you want to make it work. That is my advice!
Space does not necessarily mean that you have to wait for
something bad to happen for you to give it. Why do you have to break something
so that you can fix it? At times your partner is telling you they need to be
alone but you are not listening. Do not get so angry because they do not want
to go to some event with you. It might just be the wrong day for them! There
are a lot of ways that someone is supporting you other than that one moment
that you choose to fixate on. Then you create a mountain out of that one stupid
molehill and keep picking and picking at it. No one has ever been able to drop
a mountain; we always choose to climb it because you can’t bring it down.
Space is when your partner is just silent and does not want
Leave them be! When they are ready they will come to you but
you do not give them that chance because that moment they needed the silence,
you turned them off with an inquisition. Someone just wants to be in their own
head once in a while. Morning people and not so morning people are the hardest
combinations if your partner does not understand you. You wake up, you just
want to listen to music and for the world to live you alone but someone gets
offended when they ask you a question and it flies right past you. It is never
Space is when you are having an argument and you are not
listening to them
Couples act like siblings at times. It is like a competition
and someone has to win. If you have partner that chooses to excuse themselves
rather than continue the argument, appreciate that. They see you are not
willing to listen to them, it is not going anywhere so instead of being stupid
and bark back at you, they get away. Don’t follow someone with your mouth. This
is when the opposites attract theory works. I choose people who are wallflowers
for a reason. I am very temperamental, so when I get up there I need someone
who is down here to bring me down. That is why you need to know yourself when
getting into a relationship. To choose someone that is right for you.
Space is when you can go out on your own and have lunch and
leave them home alone
Someone does not have to be cheating for them to want to
stay at home alone. You want to go to Java on a Saturday, relax and have lunch
or whatever. They do not want to spend time in traffic because they do that
Monday to Friday (the Nairobi one); so just go alone. It is never that serious.
You don’t have to have an inquisition with your girlfriends and listen to their
bad advice of how someone might be up to something or doing something while you
Space is when you two are just together but can appreciate
the simplicity of silence
One of you is either cooking. The other watching television
or you are doing either together. Someone is either reading or painting their
nails on a Saturday night. Just chill and relax, there is nothing wrong with
that. That is a sign of maturity in a relationship. Simple is good.
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