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4 reasons space is important in relationships

13 October 2015, 17:02 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi -  I always encourage people, my friends, and women to learn how to enjoy themselves by themselves. But they do not really know how to do that though! People are very afraid of their own company and when you are so co-dependent on someone else for you to enjoy yourself; there will come a time that it will end and you will not be ready. For example; people in relationships.

There is that advice that tells you, if you are in a mess, stay and fix it. Do not let it evolve or ignore it; which is true. Sometimes-always straddle the fence it can always be grey but never just black and white if you want to make it work. That is my advice!

Space does not necessarily mean that you have to wait for something bad to happen for you to give it. Why do you have to break something so that you can fix it? At times your partner is telling you they need to be alone but you are not listening. Do not get so angry because they do not want to go to some event with you. It might just be the wrong day for them! There are a lot of ways that someone is supporting you other than that one moment that you choose to fixate on. Then you create a mountain out of that one stupid molehill and keep picking and picking at it. No one has ever been able to drop a mountain; we always choose to climb it because you can’t bring it down.

Space is when your partner is just silent and does not want to talk

Leave them be! When they are ready they will come to you but you do not give them that chance because that moment they needed the silence, you turned them off with an inquisition. Someone just wants to be in their own head once in a while. Morning people and not so morning people are the hardest combinations if your partner does not understand you. You wake up, you just want to listen to music and for the world to live you alone but someone gets offended when they ask you a question and it flies right past you. It is never that serious.

Space is when you are having an argument and you are not listening to them

Couples act like siblings at times. It is like a competition and someone has to win. If you have partner that chooses to excuse themselves rather than continue the argument, appreciate that. They see you are not willing to listen to them, it is not going anywhere so instead of being stupid and bark back at you, they get away. Don’t follow someone with your mouth. This is when the opposites attract theory works. I choose people who are wallflowers for a reason. I am very temperamental, so when I get up there I need someone who is down here to bring me down. That is why you need to know yourself when getting into a relationship. To choose someone that is right for you.

Space is when you can go out on your own and have lunch and leave them home alone

Someone does not have to be cheating for them to want to stay at home alone. You want to go to Java on a Saturday, relax and have lunch or whatever. They do not want to spend time in traffic because they do that Monday to Friday (the Nairobi one); so just go alone. It is never that serious. You don’t have to have an inquisition with your girlfriends and listen to their bad advice of how someone might be up to something or doing something while you are away.

Space is when you two are just together but can appreciate the simplicity of silence

One of you is either cooking. The other watching television or you are doing either together. Someone is either reading or painting their nails on a Saturday night. Just chill and relax, there is nothing wrong with that. That is a sign of maturity in a relationship. Simple is good.

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Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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