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4 reasons not to tell your friend about your man

28 March 2016, 19:11 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - At times it really looks like a very good idea when you sit down and want to talk about your man. You want to brag about his good qualities and how amazing he is so that your girlfriends can just know that you hit the jackpot. Obviously when your man is bad you go out of lengths to hide his poor qualities so that they know you are doing just fine mostly if you are not ready to leave.

I am here to tell you don’t. I once saw a Kenyan meme asking why single women, in no relationship have passwords on their phone yet they don’t need to hide anything from their men. Yeah, first of all, people in relationships that are actually cheating; don’t have a password on their phone and it is swiped clean it looks boring. So if you are in a relationship, your beau is always on the phone and you go to snoop but there is nothing, they sweep it clean just after being sent nudes. Just so you know. Secondly, single women are just hiding their stuff from the girlfriends, relatives and just everyone. I will even admit right now, there was this one time my intuition was hitting the wrong notes about a certain man. I waited until my girl was in the bathroom and tried to go through her phone. It had a password though, the ones that you have to zigzag for an hour to unlock the screen. So I just went the direct route and asked because I just don’t know how not to be blunt. Turns out the man had first been talking to her, then we met and his lying ass knew I liked him so he did not tell me my girl was in the mix. I had to kill that situation real quick.

But recently I was with another woman in my life; just this Easter weekend. I currently don’t have a password, it is just tedious. As we were leaving a certain place, she sneaked a peak of my screen. The picture of my current favorite was there and she also asked, ‘so who is that man?’ My radar went off-like seriously. I did not want to talk about him and I do not talk about him, to anyone. I was a bit offended that she dared look at my phone because I have never been busy with hers. I just asked what she saw and she said his hair, and she asked me if he was cute. As well intentioned as the question was I just don’t talk about my man.  I just told her he was not that good looking. I even said, ‘No, he is just kawaida. He is boring.’ That is how you kill a woman’s interest in your man. She will never ask again or delve into that situationship which is fine by me.

You want a relationship to be between you and your man; that is how you keep a healthy relationship. As much as my friends can talk about their man to me, they do not tell me anything. They will skim the surface. My girls are sneaky as hell and they don’t know I am that good. You can just tell from someone’s face when they do not want to talk about anything. They ask for advice but after that, case and situation closed. Let us talk about something else just not their man.

Don’t embellish on his fine qualities

You want to brag. It is itching you to brag but that is small women problems. You do not want to paint a fine picture of something as important as your man. It is like selling a product to a customer. Even if they like this stew but you show them how amazing that stew you have is. They will want to taste it. You do not want another woman to zero in on your man. No matter how much your trust and friendship is, if your man loses focus for even a second and even sneezes in that direction. There is a chance that that is all the room that friend who is not loyal will need.

Don’t talk about your man’s paycheck

If he hides it but you snooped and found out (don’t laugh, even I at times laugh when I think of how much men think they are smart and go ahead to brag how you will never know what he earns. A smart woman keeps her mouth shut after she finds out)-keep that information to yourself. There is that friend that is always asking, but he drives a nice car, what does he do? He lives in this place, what does he do? Just don’t talk about your man or his work even if it frustrates you because you want something different. If you want something different, you should have gone for a different man. Don’t create misery in someone’s life. Remember one man’s poison or woman’s poison is another woman’s meat.

At times you also talk about your man’s illegitimate dealings (I am not advocating but you just need to know), that woman if she does not like you, will eventually snitch especially if she sees that you are all doing so well and she is struggling in her situation.

Small woman talk about their men in the bedroom

You just don’t. After high school, you just find more important things to discuss. I am the exception because I advise people about it, sort of like a therapist. Remember; don’t make another woman want to taste your stew. She will if she is hungry enough and you will not like the results. Keep your business, your business. Your man’s junk is your personal space not everyone’s courtyard.

And so, don’t talk about your relationship issues

Want to have a nice healthy relationship? Keep less and less people in it. Seeking advice is not bad but you should be mature enough to tell someone when they are crossing a line. Ask for advice, get it and close that case. Best relationships are when two people can easily come to each other and talk to each other. If you have an issues, talk to that person first and if it gets out of hand that is when you ask for help. But keep the two of you the only people in that relationship.

- MyNews24

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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