4 reasons not to get married
23 March 2016, 21:06
Nairobi - Some things never change no matter what era it is. When you
hit that age; not 30 or 40 but 25, you notice your parents sliding some
comments in your discussions. Maybe you are just watching television or you
have been invited to something-doing something innocent before your mother
says, ‘When you decide to do a wedding…’
I nearly choked on my
tea just recently because I was just trying to watch television and I had to
kill that conversation before it got out of hand.
Thing about marriage, is that it is not a one day event and
you have to be ready before you make some drastic decisions. You just don’t get
married because there is a lot of pressure from most of your circles. Maybe you
do not even want to get married and when you rush, you end up making someone
else miserable because you were never keen on what it is you actually wanted.
You cannot add other people into your life as
long as you do not understand yourself as an individual.
Don’t get married if you are not satisfied with where you
are in life because marriage will not give you that. You will start telling
someone else how your life could have been different or how much you could have
accomplished if they just had not been with you. That is not their problem but
yours. If you cannot figure it out on your own, then you might really need to
put a hold on that plan.
Some things are a
step by step plan
Sometimes it is very comforting when someone tells you will
figure out that plan when you get there, or you will cross that bridge when you
get to it. So you rush into choosing a partner, you rush the nuptials; you rush
the whole arrangement-including having a child. Now you start to realize that
maybe you were not ready and maybe you could have waited. After all that! Take
your time and don’t allow pressure from within your circle into making rush
‘Someone better will
never come along, so this one will do’
At times someone proposes and the other person just accepts
because they will do for the moment. You make up excuses and reasons why they
are a good fit. Barely a month later and someone comes a long and you are
already asking yourself what if I could have waited.
It is like that time you are single and no one loves you but
now that you are with someone, everyone has been waiting to tell you of their
feelings. It works the same with marriage so you will now berate yourself about
a rush decision the moment the right partner comes along.
You have dependency
You are with them because of what they do for you. You would
rather eliminate that dependency then make a decision rather than settle with
someone because you are afraid of what will become of you afterwards. You will
never make a good couple as long as you are together for other reasons other
than having a family and being together for each other.
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