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4 reasons not to get married

23 March 2016, 21:06 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - Some things never change no matter what era it is. When you hit that age; not 30 or 40 but 25, you notice your parents sliding some comments in your discussions. Maybe you are just watching television or you have been invited to something-doing something innocent before your mother says, ‘When you decide to do a wedding…’

I nearly choked on my tea just recently because I was just trying to watch television and I had to kill that conversation before it got out of hand.

Thing about marriage, is that it is not a one day event and you have to be ready before you make some drastic decisions. You just don’t get married because there is a lot of pressure from most of your circles. Maybe you do not even want to get married and when you rush, you end up making someone else miserable because you were never keen on what it is you actually wanted.

 You cannot add other people into your life as long as you do not understand yourself as an individual.

Don’t get married if you are not satisfied with where you are in life because marriage will not give you that. You will start telling someone else how your life could have been different or how much you could have accomplished if they just had not been with you. That is not their problem but yours. If you cannot figure it out on your own, then you might really need to put a hold on that plan.

Some things are a step by step plan

Sometimes it is very comforting when someone tells you will figure out that plan when you get there, or you will cross that bridge when you get to it. So you rush into choosing a partner, you rush the nuptials; you rush the whole arrangement-including having a child. Now you start to realize that maybe you were not ready and maybe you could have waited. After all that! Take your time and don’t allow pressure from within your circle into making rush decisions.

‘Someone better will never come along, so this one will do’

At times someone proposes and the other person just accepts because they will do for the moment. You make up excuses and reasons why they are a good fit. Barely a month later and someone comes a long and you are already asking yourself what if I could have waited.

It is like that time you are single and no one loves you but now that you are with someone, everyone has been waiting to tell you of their feelings. It works the same with marriage so you will now berate yourself about a rush decision the moment the right partner comes along.

You have dependency issues

You are with them because of what they do for you. You would rather eliminate that dependency then make a decision rather than settle with someone because you are afraid of what will become of you afterwards. You will never make a good couple as long as you are together for other reasons other than having a family and being together for each other.

- MyNews24

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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