4 reasons money is important in relationships
04 April 2016, 23:05
Nairobi - Money matters in relationships are important. Ask anyone. Why is it so important to discuss them?
Always do a
re-evaluation of who is sorting out what constantly
This is especially important when someone changes a job,
there is a shift in salary and someone feels like they are overburdened. As
much as most couples go in rosy after outlining what each of them will take
care of, we all know it reaches a point where bitterness builds up. The reality
is rarely what you anticipated when coming up with the first contract.
A spouse may get a significant bump in the salary but they
will still just want to deal with food alone and not help out the other one.
The other one agreed to the initial agreement because they knew of their
partner’s situation but now that it has changed, they want different. But how
do you start such a conversation without creating a new problem?
Another one might lose a job or get a reduction but the
other one does not want to understand that they will need help. Soon enough
everyone is sulking because a certain bill is not sorted.
The limits of what
you can invest and how
In a good marriage, most couples have a joint account where
each makes a contribution according to what they can. No matter how small. Try
it, you will see how far you go in terms of investment by the end of the year.
It does not take all of your salary, you can keep that a secret but you two
have something you share and can work on as a couple.
The problem with this one is when a partner is out of hand
either with investment or spending. You need to draw a line on pyramid schemes
that they should agree to. No one can touch the money without the other’s
knowledge. You should make your investments together when it comes to this
money equally. You can do what you want with your salary but this one is for
the family and the kids.
How much of your
finances are taken out by family
Family is normally a problem for a lot of couples especially
the young ones. You want them to help but after a while, when the both of you
are struggling you are wondering how not to step on someone’s toes. You now ask
yourself if they will tell you, ‘my money my business.’ It gets to a point
either they are suffering or you are bearing your household weight alone.
Tender topic but that is why you need to keep re-evaluating everything. If they
take care of what they need to then you can easily let it go.
Saving for old age
Almost all African parents know that, after the
kids graduate, they have to take care of you but most of you forget that you
cannot control your kid if they are not with you. You do not know how they will
turn out and whom they will end up with. The minute you see them struggling in
their own homes, it starts to hit you too late on the fact that you have
nowhere to turn. Start saving as early as you can for your old age and put in
place sources of income for yourselves. That
way if they ever are not able to step up, you do not need
them to. If they can step in, that is fine. But do not get yourselves in a
desperate situation as husband and wife due to poor planning while you were
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