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4 reasons marriage is not for everyone

04 September 2015, 19:01 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi -  In the race to see who gets a ring on their finger and beats the others to the race; I am of the opinion that majority, not even some, but majority of us are simply not made for marriage. It is that simple, you just need to accept that fact and that way prevent making someone else miserable for the rest of their lives.

Just like I missed on classes as to how to properly draw my eyebrows, there are people who missed classes on what actually makes marriage work. We all do not go into that institution hoping that it does not work, do we?

You can never serve two masters at the same time

You would like to think that you can, but you cannot. There is also a reason they say the two people become one but most people forget that once the preacher is done with that statement. You have to place your spouse above every other person. How you treat your spouse is a reflection of you. You cannot put your family, brother, sister, mother or father before them. Clinging onto your family in efforts to please them and forgetting your spouse is always a recipe for your marriage not working out.

You do not treat your partner with any compassion

Your spouse is not an angel or a god but human like you. You need to allow them room to err and make mistakes. You cannot expect them to be perfect all in the name of; they know you so they are meant to understand what they cannot do. You have to have a lot of tolerance while going into marriage. If you expect people to act according to your expectations and want to influence everything they do, then you are already failing. It never works.

You have to be mentally ready

Marriage does not make anybody mature but mature people are the ones that make a good marriage. For the simple fact that they will be the only see a good spouse when they see them. They will appreciate the good in them and appreciate what they were able to find in a room full of people. If you do not appreciate what you have then believe me, you will not respect them, be loyal to them and you tend to be condescending because you will always think;’ I could have done so much better.’

You need to know you will lose me and have to have an ‘us’ mentality

Amen to independence and being able to have your own interests but in the end you have to have something that the both of you share in. Being selfish is a marriage will not help you survive but make the marriage lose. You have to consider, if my partner did this to me would I feel good? If someone talked this way about me to them, would I be okay with it. That gives you an inch of how to actually respect them.

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