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4 reasons Kenyan marriages fail

09 February 2016, 17:17 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - First of all, that word sounds very foreign in African minds, especially Kenyans. This is part of the reason why when you tell your parent you want to study psychiatry or one of those therapy things in Campus they will tell you to stop trying to waste their money and do something that is more important (something that will make sense to their minds). Part of the reason that when the child is acting up no one is going to say, ‘Let us go to the therapist’; instead they will ask if the child needs some whooping to get their mind straight.

What about marriage; two African, nonetheless Kenyans asking each other if they need to talk to someone who they will have to pay per the hour? Not going to happen unless they are the ones that have extra change in the pocket and in the end, one of them will be dragged their. Why?

Because we have our elders who come to our house

Big problems are solved one way; call people, the elders to your home on a particular weekend. They drink tea, and a bigger feast that follows while the issue is talked about in lighter tones; or after some shouting is done and they go back home. The thing they come and do is just change the atmosphere is the home until the next issue comes up again or it reoccurs. That is why no one is paying therapists to talk about one issue for six months or over a year and pay for it as well. We just like saving money!

Women just go and talk to their fellow church women

Most churches in Kenya have that woman who is given a role of helping young married couples or even older ones. And what do you know? We don’t pay anything unless you just give her some ‘tea’ with the Lord’s blessing; or you remove a tithe. So if I have an issue at home, I just go and talk to someone in church and I am done. I can invite my husband if he is up to it or we can have a disagreement and he will still have to come along. This role has also been taken up by a man whom the men can go talk to if they ever feel like they should.

We have our chamaswhich encourage us

You just go talk to your fellow comrades whom will assure you that you are not the first, and will not be the last. They will tell you of their tales as well and it will help you see that yours is not that big of a deal as you wish it to be. This is also done in someone’s house and food and tea is also involved. We like eating. Kenyans always look for situations where they can just be eating.

Our parents

It is just not part of our culture to talk about our problems with a stranger or deep things with someone who knows you. We like boundaries. There are just some things you would rather die with. If not, the parents come over or you go talk to them. That is it.

I am sure there are many more reasons as to why Kenyans don’t go to therapist but key features are having to pay someone and secrecy, we just like keeping it to ourselves.

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Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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