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4 reasons he is yet to propose

10 September 2015, 15:09 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - There are a couple of things that go through a woman’s mind when she is in a relationship. A long term relationship, I am talking about really long-term not the one that is five months to twelve months.  Maybe they have had a child together maybe they don’t but as long as someone is coming to you at the end of the day, talking to you at the end of the day and doing things with you that people in a relationship do; you assume this is it.

You are not the one for him

I always say, never take things too personally. We at times stay in something for too long because we are afraid of asking and getting our feelings hurt. Forget about feelings for a second and remember how much more time you are wasting waiting for this guy and hoping. Ask, get an answer, cry and look for something else with a lesson. If you allow someone to give you excuses and beat around the bush, remember it is your clock they are on not theirs. They are comfortable, on your time.

He is thinking, ‘will she get us into debt with all the pomp that she has been planning for a while!’

Did you know, that most of the time when a man does not propose, it is not because he does not want you but he is a few steps ahead of you. For a lot of women when man goes down on one knee for her, she is not thinking, ‘Oh, yes, Attorney General’s Office. Here we come.’ At times you are already making demands for an engagement he cannot even afford. He already knows his woman and he knows what she expects in terms of a wedding. If a man does not want a big wedding or cannot finance something big but his woman wants that; he is not going to be the one that tells her he does not want that. It has always been assumed that that is the woman’s prerogative. He knows his account and he knows what he is not willing to sacrifice for a single day. Women should try to talk to their men and find out what they are thinking. It will help you have a really different understanding as to why some things have not turned out yet.

He is looking for something better

You have been in a relationship so far with this man, what have you built with him so far that makes you the one for him. Babies and nothing else does not count. Are you the type of woman that understands him and comforts him when he gets home? Do you have that personality that makes him stop and wonder how he won you in the first place? Beauty is good but what else?  You know yourself and this are the questions you must ask. If you have it all going on, then you have the right to ask the question. If he plays, you know you can move on to something better. 10/10 times, men who are not yet married are always looking for something better even while they gaze into your eyes and spew a lot of Romeo and Juliet; he is having doubts. What if he marries you and then this amazing woman he could have had crosses his path?

He is not sure if you will accept the proposal

Contrary to popular belief men are not mind readers. They can also be vulnerable, it is allowed. If you are a well-to-do amazing woman, you can also intimidate your boyfriend. He is here, seeing all these other better earning and self-possessed men hanging around you. At the back of his mind he will always have doubts about you. It is really hard for a couple where a woman who is doing much better than the guy to settle well with each other and be comfortable about it. Like I said, just talk to your man, and find out what he is thinking. It will save you a lot of time and mind-reading too.

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