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4 reasons a man will never pay my bill

01 April 2015, 15:14 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - Not that I pay for my own dates, if a man can step up then I will most definitely take a backseat. I do not work for CBK.

The other day, I was having drinks with my friend on a Sunday. Yes on a Sunday. It is cheaper and less of a hustle. I do not pay for any cab rides because it is daylight and we are done by 8pm. Not a lot of people jostling me around either and I do not have to squeeze into a tight outfit. Juts be laid back like I am coming from Sunday evening Bible study.

It is late by the time I am getting to my own stage, so I have to withdraw cash from my M-Pesa for transport for the following week. I do not carry wads of money with me when I leave the house just enough to manage on. I get there and as usual Safaricom is trying to thug me. I have withdrawn but I get no text neither does the agent yet they have reduced my balance. They do not want to pick my calls either. They are giving me the run around, had to solve the whole thing in the morning on a post-paid line merge call which I borrowed from a friend.

Anyway, the M-Pesa agent I went to was also running a wines and spirits joint.  Kenyans do like drinking on Sunday afternoons by the way, it is like they are starting off the week (on a good alcoholic note) and officially saying goodbye to the last one.

While I was at the agent, some woman was seriously beaten up and was crying. Story is that, she had come with some man and the afternoon lazing had turned sour. She got into a physical fight with him, a teeth got broken and a few bruises here and there. The man clearly gave as good as he thought she deserved. The man paid for HIS bill and left her there to sort herself out. She did not have any money on her, management was not letting her out, and a guards were called to detain her in the building.

My advice as I walked out was to not always rely on some Kenyan man when it comes to paying for things. Carry your own money just in case. Some men are wicked!

A lot of Kenyan women are lost when it comes to common sense because they are out here being taken out but never carry even a cent. There M-pesa is null, there ATM does not function. In your heads you are thinking that because you are with a man he should be the one to foot the bill. Wrong.

If you are going on a date, there are some rules to follow.

Choose a location you know you can afford

Not just for you but for him too. Things do happen. If you are in it for the free meals, then you do not want a relationship but a sponsorship. Even if the man says he will pay, carry money that you know can at least get you home in case he decides to go ballistic on you. If he is the one who insists on a location, make sure he is someone who can actually afford it. Just because he is driving a Prado does not mean he can afford it-he might be the driver to the owner. As a woman you need to be able to spot this things.

If you cannot afford it, stay at home

There is no greater simple answer than declining with a ‘No’. You do not need to give excuses. Let them be the ones to accept your refusal and accept as that. Tell them you will call with a rain check.

Have a date with someone who respects you as a woman

For a man to raise a hand at you in public, that spells out a lot on what he feels about you as a woman. The way that woman looked I am sure she gave him the call back to apologize for the whole scenario.

Be with someone who can at least be honest about a situation with you

You are over there ordering filet mignons with all the sides. He is choking with his eyes because he knows you are all ending up in the backroom. Basically, live or date within your means.

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