4 reasons a man will never pay my bill
01 April 2015, 15:14
Nairobi - Not that I pay for my own dates, if a man can step up then I
will most definitely take a backseat. I do not work for CBK.
The other day, I was
having drinks with my friend on a Sunday. Yes on a Sunday. It is cheaper and
less of a hustle. I do not pay for any cab rides because it is daylight and we
are done by 8pm. Not a lot of people jostling me around either and I do not have
to squeeze into a tight outfit. Juts be laid back like I am coming from Sunday evening
It is late by the time I am getting to my own stage, so I
have to withdraw cash from my M-Pesa for transport for the following week. I do
not carry wads of money with me when I leave the house just enough to manage
on. I get there and as usual Safaricom is trying to thug me. I have withdrawn
but I get no text neither does the agent yet they have reduced my balance. They
do not want to pick my calls either. They are giving me the run around, had to
solve the whole thing in the morning on a post-paid line merge call which I
borrowed from a friend.
Anyway, the M-Pesa agent I went to was also running a wines
and spirits joint. Kenyans do like
drinking on Sunday afternoons by the way, it is like they are starting off the
week (on a good alcoholic note) and officially saying goodbye to the last one.
While I was at the agent, some woman was seriously beaten up
and was crying. Story is that, she had come with some man and the afternoon
lazing had turned sour. She got into a physical fight with him, a teeth got
broken and a few bruises here and there. The man clearly gave as good as he
thought she deserved. The man paid for HIS bill and left her there to sort herself
out. She did not have any money on her, management was not letting her out, and
a guards were called to detain her in the building.
My advice as I walked out was to not always rely on some
Kenyan man when it comes to paying for things. Carry your own money just in
case. Some men are wicked!
A lot of Kenyan women are lost when it comes to common sense
because they are out here being taken out but never carry even a cent. There
M-pesa is null, there ATM does not function. In your heads you are thinking that
because you are with a man he should be the one to foot the bill. Wrong.
If you are going on a date, there are some rules to follow.
Choose a location you know you can afford
Not just for you but for him too. Things do happen. If you
are in it for the free meals, then you do not want a relationship but a
sponsorship. Even if the man says he will pay, carry money that you know can at
least get you home in case he decides to go ballistic on you. If he is the one
who insists on a location, make sure he is someone who can actually afford it.
Just because he is driving a Prado does not mean he can afford it-he might be
the driver to the owner. As a woman you need to be able to spot this things.
If you cannot afford it, stay at home
There is no greater simple answer than declining with a
‘No’. You do not need to give excuses. Let them be the ones to accept your
refusal and accept as that. Tell them you will call with a rain check.
Have a date with someone who respects you as a woman
For a man to raise a hand at you in public,
that spells out a lot on what he feels about you as a woman. The way that woman
looked I am sure she gave him the call back to apologize for the whole
Be with someone who can at least be honest about a situation
You are over there
ordering filet mignons with all the sides. He is choking with his eyes because
he knows you are all ending up in the backroom. Basically, live or date within
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